There are so many angles to discuss about the song below, but I just don’t have the time. I also just don’t have The Time. I have seven of the original members of The Time, but they are now called The Original 7ven. I’ve always wondered how to pronounce that. Unlike the Brad Pitt/Morgan Freeman/Gwyneth’s head-in-a-box movie “Se7en” this is 7ven. Now, are those pronounced “se-seven-en” and “seven-ven,” respectively or just plain ‘ol seven?

Anyway, there is nothing plain or ‘ol about this song. It’s brand new, released on iTunes yesterday, yet it sounds like it was straight from the era when these guys were competing with Prince to be the top band in town in “Purple Rain.” That’s all that movie was about, right? Their competition?

It’s kinda crazy that the subtitle on the artwork for this single
says “The Band Formerly Known As The Time,” because rumor has it that
they are not allowed to be known as The Time because the artist formerly
known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince has forbidden them from using that name.

Anyway, the lyrics may sound as if they were written by an unfrozen caveman, discovering new technology and trying to still employ slightly dated sexual innuendo. Actually, maybe these words were penned by a real life Austin Powers. Can’t you just picture him saying the line about the 12-inch?

 

Anyway, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. You need to listen to the song I’m talking about first. Here it is.


01 #Trendin by metrousmusic

OK, so you’ve listened. Now you can read more.

So now, to the song itself. Really, it does sound as great as their big hits “Jungle Love” and “The Bird,” as super producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis do still have the magic touch in the studio. That eerie Gary Numan-ish synth line against that fuzzy funk bass and that Bobby Brown-type refrain of “They’re talkin’ about me” is undeniably infectious.

But then there’s the words. That title! A hash tag in a song title? OMG LOL ROTFC. That last one is supposed to be “Rolling on the Floor, Cringing.”

While I think it’s great these guys are trying to step into the modern age, there’s something that’s just so counter-dance floor about Twitter culture. It’s just frustrating because back in the ’80s singer Morris Day taught us how to do “The Bird,” some crazy-ass dance that he may have very well invented, and even better, that dance wasn’t for everybody ... just the sexy people. Heck, I need to embed that video to remind myself how great that tune was.

Look at that synchronized shuffle! So now, is this dance for #Trendin’ just for the dorky people with their noses in their cell phones?

“Yo tweetie pies gonna post it in your blog,” Day sings and it just sounds like he’s trying too hard. When he talks about champagne wishes and caviar dreams he seems more in his element.

But, there is a chance this song might work. For people unfamiliar with The Time’s legacy they might not be comparing them to their former work. Plus, after listening to it on repeat all afternoon, it is lodged in my brain pretty tightly. And while lyrically they may be behind the technological times, if you listen to it on repeat, it almost loops, with the last thing he says as “Jellybean!” which segues right into the beginning where he says, “Keep it goin’ now.” And when you play it back-to-back, it’s “Jellybean, keep it goin’ now!” Oh man, I have listened to this song way too much, haven’t I?

Anyway, after very very thorough, consideration the biggest problem I have with a song that when and oldish artist promotes a newish technology in song and that artist boasts, “Worldwide, we’re about to make history, I’ve got all the sexy people gettin’ down with me.” It does not quite work, because they only have 1,306 followers, everyone can see that. Or... Maybe there are only 1,306 sexy people!

Wait, maybe after you read this post, you should follow @theorignal7ven, and then you too can become one of the sexy people. As Morris Day once famously sang, “you just need two arms and an attitude.” And a Twitter account. And while you’re at it, maybe tweet at them that you hope they have better lyrics on the rest of the songs on their forthcoming “Condensation” album.


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