Today, a middle-aged police officer in middle America has won the Internet. Well, IMO, at least. Ohio police chief David Oliver has penned an open letter to Kanye West (on his department’s Facebook page) and, um, it’s fairly epic.
Oliver, incensed by Yeezy’s recent comments in which he compared himself to soldiers and cops (I mean, this is a dude that just likened himself to Nelson Mandela and legitimately thinks he’s some sort of hip-hop holy figure, so, I feel like that’s tame) took to the Internet to let the high-art genius (who may or may not be the second coming of Christ and also Steve Jobs) know exactly how he felt.
In the letter, which is laced with enough snarky vitriol to give Morrissey's recent (awesome) rant about the British royal family a run for its Internet rage money, Oliver invites Ye to leave the rap game and join the Army because, “I’m sure they would just drop weapons and surrender. You could quite possibly end all wars, just from the enemy being star-struck."
Here’s the thing, though — that is not a scenario that would seem unreasonable to Kanye West. Kanye West thinks that Kim Kardashian deserves a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Kanye West also thinks that Kim Kardashian is a smart cookie. Kanye West thinks thoughts that other people know to be patently crazy.
Still, the idea of some small town policeman taking on Kanye, even via a Facebook post, really tickles me.
As does the fact that he signed this post (which has almost 20,000 shares) “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.” EFFING CLASSIC.
No offense to Ben Affleck but this is my favorite Kanye West Interwebz feud since the Jimmy Kimmel Incident. #teamoliver