Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are engaged! Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are engaged!

 

Oh, thank the powers that be: Little North West soon won't have to live in shame as the child of unwed sin. Just regular sin.

 

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian got engaged last night. Kanye, being Kanye, reportedly went all out: According to E! News, he rented out AT&T Park in San Francisco and proposed to Kim in front of their family and friends.

 

...And? What else did he do? This is Kanye West. He wouldn't just rent out a ridiculously large venue for an engagement. He'd also fill it with elephants and semiotics professors. I want details, people. I want everyone on Pinterest to go crazy because their~♥special day!♥~won'tinclude Joe Biden skydiving down to deliver the ring. Don't leave me hanging. This is why it exists.

 

While Kim and Kanye enjoy their engagement, Kim's parents Kris and Bruce Jenner are headed for divorce, and there’s a new rumor about the secret behind their split.

 

Take this one with a boulder-sized grain of salt: Star Magazine claims the reason Kardashian parentals are getting a divorce is not middle-aged ennui, the stress of being on TV all the time or the incompatability of two narcissists.

No, they claim it’s becauseBruce wants to be a woman.