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Look. I know the members of Hanson are old and they have, like, 23 kids between them (even the baby drummer has procreated — twice.) I've interviewed them several times and the voice on the other end wasn't prepubescent (they are also supersensitive to people thinking they are teenagers, something I learned the hard way when I squealed, "You are so grown up!" to them.) I've even listened to their later albums. What I'm saying is: I KNOW THEY ARE OLD AND CAPABLE OF PARTYING. But when I read on E! News that Kristen Stewart decided to celebrate her 23rd birthday by crashing a record release party for the band at L.A. nightspot No Vacancy, my first thought was, "What is KStew doing with a bunch of 8-year-olds?" Apparently, if you broke out as a little person, I will always consider you a little person (don't get me started on Lil' Bow Wow.) Anyway, according to E!, the birthday girl arrived around 11 p.m. with Robert Pattinson and about 10 friends in tow, though it was unclear if they knew ahead of time about the band's party. "They weren't overly affectionate or anything, but at points they were standing together as they talked to friends," a source says of Stewart and Pattinson. And then Hanson played pin-the-tail on the donkey, ate confetti cake and all three had temper tantrums when they were told it was bedtime. (I'm so sorry, Hanson. Next interview we do together, impress me with your 401K plan and maybe I'll wrap my head around the fact of your aging.)

 

The drama between Rihanna and Chris Brown continues
Reports that Rihanna and Chris Brown have broken up might not exactly be accurate, but that doesn't mean the couple is happy, according to Us Weekly. A source tells the magazine that while the pair hasn't actually split up, they are fighting all the time. "Every second it's a blow-up and then full-on in love," the source says. "She's touring and working her ass off, and he's working his off in the studio," and those busy schedules are adding to the stress. Rihanna is even using work to vent some of her frustrations, asking an audience at an L.A. concert this week, "How many of you are in love? How many of you hate love? How many of you don't f—ing understand it? I'm in that group. The confused group."

 

Madonna continues fight with Malawi president
Madonna's ongoing feud with Malawi President Joyce Banda isn't getting any better, with Banda now blasting the singer for reportedly demanding expedited travel privileges for herself and her entourage for a recent visit to the country, according to Yahoo! News. "Granted, Madonna is a famed international musician," Banda says in a statement. "But that does not impose an injunction of obligation on any government under whose territory Madonna finds herself, including Malawi, to give her state treatment. Such treatment, even if she deserved it, is discretionary, not obligatory." Madonna and company instead had to queue up with regular passengers and were reportedly frisked before being allowed through security.

 

Ben Affleck: Mr. Mom
It's Jennifer Garner's turn to go to work, which means husband Ben Affleck will be staying home with the kids, the "Argo" director reveals, according to Us Weekly. "She's got a couple of movies coming up. There's going to be a little Mr. Mom action and I'm going to get back in the ring," Affleck says. "She told me to go to the gym, I'm preparing myself. I'm going to take on some more of the burden."