Lance Armstrong: Terrible driver, worse boyfriend

Disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong has been cited for hitting a pair of parked cars on the way home from a party in Aspen at the end of December — despite the fact that he initially let girlfriend Anna Hansen take the blame for it. In the initial police report, Hansen told police “she was driving too fast for conditions and lost control around a snowy corner and collided with two parked cars,” according to E! News.

But Hansen apparently came clean during a police interview two days later, saying, “We’ve had our family name smeared over every paper in the world in the last couple of years and honestly, I’ve got teenagers, I just wanted to protect my family. I thought, Gosh, Anna Hansen hit some cars, it’s not going to show up in the papers, but ‘Lance Armstrong hit some cars,’ it’s going to be a national story.” Well, you’re not wrong. Armstrong faces up to 90 days in the slammer plus a small fine if convicted of failure to report an accident.

Follow Ned Ehrbar on Twitter: @nedrick