I don't want to use my position as a celebrity gossip columnist/editor-in-chief of a free daily newspaper to throw a publicist/celebrity eyebrow stylist under the bus. Everyone works hard. Everyone has bills to pay. Emails are sent without proofing. Basically: Mistakes are made. But I kind of have to with this one, friends.
Earlier today, I got this email pitch from Lawlor Media Group for the celebrity eyebrow stylist Joey Healy. In the pitch (which, it would be fair to point out, was probably written by a publicist and maybe not entirely vetted by Healy), the stylist talks about the hits and misses at Sunday night's Academy Awards. Which: Good for him. I'm sure someone, somewhere, cares about A-listers' eyebrow game. If someone can have a career being a "celebrity eyebrow stylist," there is a market and I am nothing if not a capitalist. A gossip columnist/editor-in-chief capitalist.
However, Healy (and the publicist who wrote it) might need to brush up on their sensitivity training. Their mention of Lupita Nyong'o's eyebrows kicked off with: "Lupita Nyong'o - We are a slave for your brows!"
Yes, you read that correctly: a slave for her brows. I'm giving Healy (and the publicist) a slight break, as "a slave for your brows" is fine. If Lupita had not just starred in a movie in which she played a slave. A slave who is repeatedly raped and beaten and whipped, and who begs for her own death.
What were they thinking?
It's too bad "Schindler's List" didn't come out this year. "Liam Neeson - Your brows are the holocaust!" Or "Forrest Gump": "Tom - Your brows are retarded!" "Brokeback Mountain": "Jake Gyllenhaal - Your brows make me gay!" I mean, we could go on and on here. But I won't. Because it's offensive.
Just, you know, watch the slave references in email pitches, publicists of the world. Your clients will thank you.