Michael Fassbender as The Snowman
[Image: Universal Pictures]

‘The Snowman’

 

Director: Thomas Alfredson

 

Stars: Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, J.K. Simmons, Toby Jones, Chloe Sevigny, James D’Arcy

 

Rating: R

 

1.5 (out of 5) Globes

 

Plot: Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) is the best lead detective in Oslo, Norway, but he is blighted by personal and drinking problems. However, he soon starts to try and sober up after the disappearance of a new victim on the first snow of winter. The case has various similarities to the elusive serial killer The Snowman, who Hole immediately fears is active again. Hole soon connects with brand new recruit Katrine Bratt (Rebecca Ferguson), and the two detectives look to link up the old cases with new ones all before the next snowfall. 

Review: It is quite astonishing how bad “The Snowman” is. For many reasons, the first and foremost of which is just how esteemed the talent involved. Director Thomas Alfredson’s “Let The Right One In” and “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” were taut, thrilling and suspenseful, while “The Snowman’s” screenwriters Hossein Amini and Peter Straughan have each been nominated for Academy Awards. That’s before we even get to its cast of Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Gainsbourg, and J.K. Simmons, each of whom try valiantly, but end up drowning in “The Snowman’s” melted mess of frustrating tedium. The only people associated with “The Snowman” that deserve any kind of props is its marketing team, who somehow made it look as though it had the potential to be “Gone Girl” meets “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.” Instead what transpires is a mess of epic proportions, as “The Snowman” fails to link its seemingly decades old cases together in a coherent, let alone beguiling, fashion. There’s zero tension and build throughout, too, and it ties itself in knots trying to juggle each of its various plots, none of which are compelling. “The Snowman’s only redeeming feature is its spectacular location, as its Norwegian backdrop is undeniable gorgeous to look at. But "The Snowman’s" truly terrible conclusion, which is so poorly constructed that you’ll struggle not to let out a hearty laugh directly at its ineptitude, immediately melts away any residual positive feelings you might have. Rendering it a monumental waste of time.