Poor Conrad doesn't know what's about to hit him. Credit: Adam Taylor Poor Conrad doesn't know what's about to hit him.
Credit: Adam Taylor

OMFG you guys! It’s time for the “Revenge” season finale! And yes, I said “season,” because in case you didn’t hear, our favorite show will be back for Season 4 in the fall! Were you surprised? Happy? Pissed? I’d love to hear. Tweet me @MeredithAtMetro. In the meantime, we’ve got a lot of ‘splaining to do about tonight.

(Sidenote: Did you miss last week's recap? Here you go!)

We open with little-girl Amanda talking to her dad on the porch about the ring that’s so important to him — the one that showed up in that cabin a few weeks ago. Back in the present, Conrad’s admission of his guilt is front page news, and Amanda and Aidan are super-duper excited. She even tells Aidan she loves him. So many feelings!!!


Sigh. Victoria and Margot play nice when shipping Pascal’s body back to France. PS: Thanks to reader @rivcarfor teaching me that the proper spelling is “Pascal” and not “Pasquale.” My b! Anyways. Victoria’s heartbroken to give her beloved one final kiss, and she wants Amanda (whom she still calls Emily, remember) to feel the pain she feels.

Poor Conrad’s trial is in front of the most biased judge ever. When evidence resurfaces that leads him to send Conrad away AND reopen the David Clarke case, the judge is like, “justice will move swiftly for him.” As if that would ever happen before the case is closed again! Amanda’s in the stands and can’t control her excitement. Could everything really be coming up roses for her? Things aren’t looking good for Conrad, at least: In jail, his lawyer advises him to take a plea for life in prison.

Amanda's pretty pleased with how the proceedings go. Credit: ABC/Adam Taylor Amanda's pretty pleased with how the proceedings go.
Credit: ABC/Adam Taylor

Margot makes Daniel second in command, but not long after gets a visit from her Parisian brother, Gideon. Turns out he and Daniel go way back, to boarding school.

Aha, so now we know the creep from that cabin in the woods. It’s Victoria’s PI! He set up a trap with Victoria to lead Amanda to the cabin. Of course she goes alone, because that’s safe, and then when she gets there the PI is there and ready to take her down. They fight, but Amanda wins. Aidan finds her and they work on the next part of their plan--calling in Dr. Banks, as she was a link to David’s framing, and got little girl Amanda to believe her father was evil. Amanda was once able to get dirt from Dr. Banks by posing as a patient, so Aidan will do so this time (since Amanda probably can’t pull that act again). They’re on cloud 9 now that people are talking about David in a good light. They’re excited about a future together when all this is over.

While one cop tries to help Charlotte figure out who her kidnappers were, another cop beats Conrad in jail. But this is nothing compared to what’s about to happen with Aidan...

Poor guy. When he gets to Dr. Banks’ office, Victoria’s waiting in the wings. I don’t think Dr. Banks knew what she was getting into, but Aidan takes one sip of his tea and realizes he’s been drugged. It’s all Victoria’s doing, and when he doesn’t immediately kick the bucket, she finishes the job by suffocating him with a pillow. When Victoria pulls the pillow off his face, a tear falls from his eye. Sad! #RIP

Amanda’s about to get the best news and the worst news of her life. Best news: Her dad got cleared of all wrongdoing in the flight that went down (that was fast, huh judge?) Worst news: When she gets home to tell Aidan, his corpse is there, creepily propped up in front of the fire. Was anyone else a little spooked? I definitely was!

Amanda cries what appear to be real tears and tells Nolan she never loved anyone else (uhh, sorry Jack). Amanda knows that Victoria must have been involved but doesn’t report her. Why? So she can take her down all by herself. First, though, she visits Dr. Banks, pretty distraught, but still ready to fight. “Sorry’s not enough,” she tells her.

There’s bad blood between Amanda and Charlotte but Amanda visits Charlotte anyway to give back her dad’s ring pass on a message (albeit an outrageous one): Your father’s grave has been desecrated, so you should move the body. Ummm seriously? What kind of wackjob is this girl? That’s my and Charlotte’s opinion. Amanda’s unfazed though. She’ll move the body herself, like a total creep.

Over some absinthe with Daniel, Gideon spills that he’s in town to start his own company and that he wants to bring Margot on. I guess I should mention the fact that Gideon hired a hooker that night, she died after ODing on coke, and then Gideon planted the body in Daniel’s room to make him look bad. Wow, Gideon, making big moves at the start--refreshing in a show like that!

OK, enough with these silly plots, and time for some literal plots! TIME FOR A GRAVEYARD SHOWDOWN! That’s right. Amanda actually does go to the graveyard, shovel in hand, digging away, when Victoria ambushes her. She calls her out on her whole scheme--you’re Amanda, you’re here to get revenge -- and then Amanda decks her with the shovel! Where does Victoria wake up? Wait and see...

One of these ladies is about to get hit in the head with a shovel. Credit: ABC/Colleen Hayes One of these ladies is about to get hit in the head with a shovel.
Credit: ABC/Colleen Hayes

At the Stoweaway, Charlotte confronts Jack about hiding David’s ring from her. What else is he hiding? When he touches her shoulder in a slightly off-putting way, she has her answer: He was the kidnapper! (OK, not really, but he was involved, albeit to help her flee! But still. Oh man. This will be bad for Jack.) So the police come and call him into questioning. Bye for the season, Jack!

GUYS. OH MY GOSH. Not to quote Upworthy, but what happens next will blow your mind. Or already blew your mind. Whatever. So Conrad gets a guard’s help to get him out of jail under the ruse that he’s a priest. The guard says his help will meet him a mile down the road. When Conrad, walking down the street, hears a car approaching, he’s shocked to see … DAVID CLARKE GET OUT OF THE CAR! Oh Jesus Christ, they went there. They went there, people!

You might recall that when I interviewed James Tupper, who plays David, a few years ago, he told me that as he knows it David is dead! Guess things changed since then! Aye. Was this planned all along, or is it a desperate plot twist for ratings? Again, tweet met and let me know. Oh yeah. Back to the show. DAVID STABS CONRAD IN THE STOMACH AND HE DIES! Bye-bye Conrad Grayson! AHHH!!! So when the previews teased multiple main characters dying, I guess THIS is what they meant!

When Victoria wakes up, oh my, she’s in a mental institution, and Amanda’s there. When Victoria screams for help and tries to explain Amanda’s real identity, Amanda convinces the doctor that Victoria’s been saying crazy stuff like this for awhile. And then, to further drive the point home, Dr. Banks comes in to back up Amanda’s claims. So I guess that’s how Amanda put her to work after she accidentally killed Aidan. Amanda triumphantly strolls out, the end (hopefully) nearer. But wow, she doesn’t even know yet that a) Conrad is dead, and b) her dad is alive. Lots await for us in Season 4 I guess!

Alas, dear readers, I am so sorry to say that I will not be recapping Season 4. These are my last few days at Metro, and while I have loved (and loathed) this show as much as you have, I’m heading to the Daily News next week. I hope you’ll still follow me on Twitter, and keep reading my stuff! I’ll be a health reporter over there, so probably won’t be doing too much TV coverage, but I will definitely still be watching this s—show and letting you know my feelings about it on Twitter.

It’s been a great three years, readers. Thank you for always coming back, even when this show got out of hand (and it looks like it’s only getting more so). Have a great summer, and if anyone ever tries to f-- with your loved ones, I only hope you take them down Amanda-style (but maybe a little quicker, please).

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