SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS! EVERYBODYYYYY!
Credit: ABC/Danny Feld
Amanda’s plan is continuing to spiral out of control—everyone’s getting a little tired of her by this point. What else can we learn from this week’s “Revenge” recap? Glad you asked…
As per usual with ABC, the network teased us before the episode with an image of Nolan passed out in his tub. Of course, when we see Nolan tonight, he’s not really hurt, or dead—just passed out from meditating! Honestly, did we really think they would do anything serious to Nolan? He’s her biggest ally. Anyways, Nolan comes clean about his relationship with Patrick, and Amanda is not happy, to say the least. She says he has to break it off, even though Nolan’s all like “you don’t know him like I do.” Poor Nolan!
On the other side of town, Charlotte has remodeled the Stoweaway, and tells Jack that she’s reconnected with Conrad—well, Jack’s not too happy to hear that. Charlotte’s all like, “but I did it to protect you!” but Jack’s not really feeling the mutual love.
Meet Morgan Holt: Real estate agent to the rich and famous
At a family breakfast the next morning at Grayson Manor, Conrad is entertaining a new lady friend, a real estate agent. Victoria picks up some tension between Daniel and Amanda…nonsense, she says! They’ve in fact planned their honeymoon—a weekend cruise around Nantucket with the family. (Editor’s note: Really? A weekend? In Nantucket? With everyone? That sounds pretty bad. Shouldn’t the two of them agree on a two-week escape to Fiji or something?)
About that real estate agent, Morgan Holt: She’s helping Conrad sell their house to a Saudi prince. All this doesn’t sit too well with Victoria. She texts Patrick for help, asap, and when they meet at the gallery she says she’s putting all of its assets in his name so Conrad can’t get any money from it. She also says she knows he tried to kill Conrad. He’s all like, he humiliates you, you’re not gonna be OK if you stay with him…so he tries to murder him. Nice morals, Patrick. Like mother like son. Well, Victoria’s actually grateful that he did it. He tells her he loves her, and she notes that it’s the first time he’s ever called her mom. Aww…?
Anyway, also not happy with the news of the house sale: Amanda. It just throws her plan further into whack if the Graysons move. But of course she’ll ger her way by episode’s end. For now, let us take the drama to a bake shop so Charlotte and Daniel can pick up a cake for the Stoweaway’s grand reopening. Who’s behind the bakery counter but Sara, Daniel’s ex (whom we haven’t met til now) whom was hurt in the DUI he got. She’s extremely pissed to see him and goes pretty apeshit over the fact that he didn’t cover her medical bills. This makes Daniel feel REALLY bad—he tells Charlotte he’s gonna read the settlement (something he never did in his jackass days, I guess) because he’s reformed now and wants to do right. Charlotte, meanwhile, calls the bake shop to report that Sara was a rude employee today. It leads to poor Sara getting fired. Hasn’t this girl been through enough? We’ll see…
Here’s Emily VanCamp all dressed up in business clothes, so we know she’s up to something. Why, just sneaking a file out of the Suffolk County clerk’s office, no biggie. Elsewhere, Patrick and Nolan realize their relationship’s on shaky ground because Patrick comes with all the Grayson baggage. Nolan’s all like “I’ve never felt this way before” (err…poor Padma!) and Patrick wants to be with him too. They both decide that Amanda and Victoria shouldn’t get a vote in their love life; if they want to be together, they should be.
“I thought I heard a chatter of rats,” Victoria says as she catches Morgan hitting on Conrad (“I always love a good master,” she says, talking about a bedroom and/or Conrad. Ew.) Victoria asks Aidan to investigate what’s going between them—she suspects they’re working together to hide profits of the sale of the house. They also need to a) keep Patrick’s crime a secret, and b) further continue their plan to get rid of “Emily.”
Amanda’s got a plan for the house ever leaving the Graysons’ hands, natch. It starts with her calling Daniel and telling him to stay in the city tonight, as she discovered their house has “foundation issues” (yes, that seems about right). That leaves her watching Aidan hammer through her wall to set up such “issues.” They fantasize about how close their future is (hint: It’s probably not) and then they presumably have steamy sex against the wall.
Nolan Ross and Jack Porter: BFFL
Nolan visits the Stoweaway and opens up to Jack—“Emily’s” really screwing up his life, he says. They do shots, and Nolan tells him about Patrick really trying to take down Conrad. Jack already knows this, and Nolan’s like, “wait, if you know, Emz must have told you, and therefore broken my trust.” Nolan’s further pissed, and he pretty much gives in: He tells Jack Emily’s real identity (but like…Jack already knows this. Kind of inconsequential.) First, Jack kicks Nolan out of the bar, but then, they make up at Nolan’s house (after Nolan tells him how he got involved with everything). It’s nice they’re friends. But it’s sad that Nolan has to let Patrick go because he doesn’t know if he’s forever going to be trustworthy. Jack offers to do it and Nolan makes him promise that Patrick won’t be hurt. This makes me a little sad. I feel like Jack and Nolan’s relationship is one of the only true ones on this show.
Back at Grayson Manor, Amanda’s causing quite the ruckus with all the construction she’s started on her property, and all this doesn’t look good to a real estate agent trying to make a sale next door. Morgan introduces herself to Amanda and asks when her construction is gonna end. Amanda tells her that the beach that the property sits on keeps eroding, and the foundation is going with it. Well shit. This makes the Graysons look mad for not telling Morgan about the erosion over the years.
Looks like Charlotte too is feeling the remorse for her brother’s DUI: She gives Sara a job in the kitchen at the Stoweaway. It looks like this Sara character has still got the hots for her ex, even though he royally screwed her.
Victoria rushes home at the urging of Patrick, just in time to see Conrad getting ready to celebrate his home’s sale to the Saudi prince. Not so fast, Morgan counters—how dare he not tell her about their erosion problems? It would make her look really bad if she sold the house without mentioning that little problem. She promptly sees her out. Conrad’s furious—he thinks Victoria is behind this. But are you kidding? She’s happy to get the hell away from him now. She drops her house key in his Champagne flute. Icy.
Jack’s got a ton of info he’s ready to tell Conrad, but he won’t do it for free (or money, for that matter): He just wants Conrad’s word that the two of them will be at a ceasefire after this.
The party goes off without a hitch (surprisingly, it’s a non-event this episode—I think this is the first time that’s ever happened on this show), but after the party, Amanda is angry that Jack’s told Conrad about Patrick and the brakes. Oh, you know what, Nolan tells her? “I gave him my blessing.” Epic duel! Nolan’s tired of playing pawn in her little game. It’s ruined his relationship with Patrick and he just wants to go back to living his own life.
The Graysons aren’t so broke after all
Victoria is feeling pretty great—Aidan’s just led her to loads of gold that Conrad has kept stockpiled without telling her. She confronts him about it, he plays ignorant, then turns the tables by confronting her about Patrick’s plan to kill him. “I’m just gonna have him plucked from you,” Conrad tells her, which is pretty heartbreaking to Vicky. She sends Patrick away, very “Breaking Bad” style—some shady Victoria connection rolls up in a cab, Victoria hands Patrick a bag, Patrick tries to fight against leaving, but Victoria forces him too. “Obey your mother,” she tells him. And just like that, viewers, another minor “Revenge” character comes and goes. Enjoy the “Revenge” wasteland, Patrick, currently housing such esteemed residents as Mason, Frank and Lydia!
Daniel attempts to make peace with Sara—he knows he’s got a long way to go, but he wants to try. She walks away from him, I guess not totally into the idea. But there must be something lingering there, because in the next episodes it looks like she’s gonna drive a big wedge between Amanda and Daniel.
And speaking of Amanda, Aidian tells her that once their plan is done, they’ll never have to see any of these people again. Amanda looks, dare I say, a little sad about this? She has cultivated friendships with Nolan and Charlotte and even Jack within this mess. Anyways, she tells this to Nolan and Patrick—that she’ll have to disappear after all this to make her plan work. How? She’s planning on sacrificing herself on her wedding day and laying the blame on Victoria. That’s right, that shooting five weeks in the future may be all carefully orchestrated by Amanda herself. Homegirl’s REALLY committed to her goal I guess. Do you think it’ll all go exactly as planned? This is “Revenge,” so probably not! What do you think will happen? Let me know here.
Overall, I enjoyed this episode more than last week, so I will bring it back to B territory. I’ve decided to only reserve A’s for big, earth-shattering revelations—and knowing “Revenge” and it’s penchant for teasing us (hello, fake Nolan bathtub murder), I suspect the next one won’t be for awhile.
