How are we supposed to feel about another celebrity nude pictures scandal?

Obviously intrigued, because here is a professional Good-Looking Person without clothes on. And titillated, at the intimacy of the self-shot poses. And inquisitive, because the question "Were these faked" is ever-present in our minds. So we look at wallpaper patterns, analyze neck ridges that may or may not line up, feel defeated if it turns out the pics weren't real at all.

But also we feel guilty, because technically when you look at these pictures you are looking at a crime. Their phones were hacked and their images stolen. The instant counter-argument here is "Don't be dumb and take nude photos of yourself," but guess what? Ask a random group of your friends how many of them have ever taken naked pictures of themselves -- not even sent them, just taken them -- and you will get more hands than you'd ever expect. Everyone is vain. Everyone hopes they look good naked. To expect celebrities, people whose livelihoods are tied to their image to a degree many of us cannot comprehend, to be better at dealing with these insecurities than the average human... well, that's just insane.

But here are the newly leaked pics of Scarlett Johansson, vultures. The FBI is involved, so we hope you feel real good.

 

Also, for the detectives out there, here's some wallpaper for you to analyze. The picture on the left is from Johansson's house.

The uncensored versions are over at Buzzfeed. They're on Reddit. Enjoy them, sincerely.



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