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The Word: R-Patz sours on L.A.

"Maps To The Stars" Premiere - Arrivals - 2014 Toronto International Film Festival

Great job, Los Angeles. You went and scared off another one. "Twilight" star Robert Pattinson is apparently checking prices on last-minute flights to London. "I think I might be done with Los Angeles. I've just realized that in the past few weeks," Pattinson tells The Independent's Radar magazine — though he might just be trying to butter up a British outlet. "I think I need to spend more time in London, or just move around a bit more. I've been in L.A. for six or seven years or something, and it's weird. The more you stay there, especially as an actor, the more you think you need to be there, that you'll be missing out on something by leaving, but you are not, really." You see, L.A.? This is why we can't have nice things. Stop scaring off all the sensitive British boys, or the U.K. will start sending back the celebrities it agreed to take off our hands. Speaking of…

Lindsay Lohan, master of logic

Lindsay Lohan is countering critics of her West End debut, "Speed-the-Plow," with a point that's really, really hard to refute: It could've been so much worse. While some have focused on flubbed lines and uninvited audience laughter during her first week of previews, "It could've been a disaster — but it wasn't by far," Lohan tells the Daily Mirror. "I could've not shown up. But of course I did, it's my show. I'm doing the best I can and will for the duration." If you say so! The best part? It's a rhetorical device you can employ in your own life. The next time your boss is disappointed in your performance, simply offer back that at least you didn't release rabid land-sharks into the office. Manage expectations, people. Manage expectations.


Brad Pitt begrudgingly discusses marriage

It's coming up on Oscar season, and Brad Pitt has a big World War II drama, "Fury," coming out that he hopes folks will see. So naturally that means it's time to talk to GQ about his personal life. Like his recent marriage to Angelina Jolie. "I wouldn't say [marriage is] just a title. There's more to it than that," he tells the magazine. Yes, but is he happy? "I've always believed happiness is overrated, you know?" He says. "It's those difficult times that inform the next wonderful time, and it's a series of trade-offs, of events, of wins and losses." OK…

'Pirates of the Caribbean' heads to ... Australia?

It's really happening, mateys. The fifth film in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise is getting under way Down Under, with pre-production starting this week on Australia's Gold Coast, according to the Daily Mail Australia. Actual filming, though, won't get underway until February 2015, when Johnny Depp is confirmed to arrive to reprise his role as Capt. Jack Sparrow. Orlando Bloom is also said to be in discussions to return to the franchise. Pay no attention to the fact that, much like the fourth film that shot in Hawaii, this one is being made nowhere near the actual Caribbean.

Follow Ned Ehrbar on Twitter: @nedrick

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