Are we the only ones who find this whole Ball Ironing thing simultaneously disgusting and fascinating? For some reason, people are just now all amped up about that time, five years ago, when George Clooney joked to “Esquire” that he had the wrinkles in his old balls ironed out (the male equivalent of a labiaplasty — which is another disgusting and fascinating thing, by the way). Now “Salon” has reported that this is an actual Thing called “tackle-tightening" and that dudes are totally into it. Are they? Are grown men into paying money to have some doctor surgically freshen up their testes? Because we’re pretty sure most men we know don’t give a damn what their balls look like, as long as they get to slap them up against someone else’s naughty parts from time to time. Jonah Hill, however, did just tell TMZ that he is into it, so who knows?
These wrinkly old balls are filing for divorce.
Speaking of saggy old testicles, NY Mag reports that media titan and super rich old dude, 82-year-old Rupert Murdoch has filed for divorce from his 38-year-old wife Wendi Deng. This brings us to two points. One: Murdoch is a total pimp. How much of a baller do you have to be when you’re geriatric a—s feels ok about kicking your hot under-40 wife to the curb? And two: how bad is it for 30-something women out there that it’s becoming difficult to hang on to your octogenarian man?