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TV Preview: What's new for fall

The idiot box. Networks have a whole new rash of shows this autumn, many of which will never be heard from again.

Networks have a whole new lineup of shows this autumn, many of which will never be heard from again. Here's a breakdown:

‘Dads’
This show hasn’t even aired yet and it’s already getting a lot of flack for being offensive — but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The show stars Seth Green (whose choice in mostly stinker roles is a little offensive) and Giovanni Ribisi (who makes up for it) as business partners whose meddling old pops return to mess with their lives. Sept. 17, 8 p.m., Fox

‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’
If “Brooklyn DA” wasn’t enough to keep your Kings County heart happy, here’s another cop show — albeit a funnier one, we think — about the goings-on in America’s hippest borough. Andy Samberg stars. Sept. 17, 8:30 p.m., Fox

‘The Goldbergs’
In the 1940s, Gertrude Berg helped create the sitcom with “The Goldbergs.” This has nothing do with that. It’s like if there was a new show called “I Love Lucy,” but it was just about some nice, not very funny girl named Lucy. Anyway, this one’s just about a wacky family in the '80s, led by “Bridesmaid”’s Wendi McLendon-Covey. Sept. 23, 9 p.m., ABC

‘Mom’
Movies have no idea what to do with Anna Faris, the most talented female comic actor in ages. Maybe TV will treat her better. Faris plays a recovering alkie single mom who restarts her life in Napa Valley. That the great Alison Janney is on board as her mom is a good sign. Sept. 23, 9:30 p.m., CBS

‘Hostages’
Because television is now largely single stories that never end, this drama takes a movie plot — Toni Collette is kidnapped by a rogue fed (Dylan McDermott) and forced to kill the president — and will somehow stretch that over untold seasons. Sept. 23, 10 p.m., CBS

‘The Blacklist’
Holy crap, James Spader’s 53! He’s happily enjoying a resurgence, playing the villain of the next “Avengers” movie, and here as a criminal who plays rat to the feds, but possibly for his own agenda. Sept. 23, 10 p.m., NBC

‘Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’
Because there’s evidently not enough Marvel’s Avengers in the world — while there’s genuinely not enough of the British Avengers in the world — the rag-tag team of bickering superhuman do-gooders invades your TV, too. Actually, it’s just the all-too-human agents, including Clark Gregg’s Agent Coulson (despite being killed in the last movie). Sept. 24, 8 p.m., ABC

‘Trophy Wife’
Malin Akerman jumps to TV as a woman who falls for a man with three rambunctious kids and two horrible ex-wives. Bradley Whitford plays said man and Marcia Gay Harden plays one of the nutso former wives. Sept. 24, 9:30 p.m., ABC

‘Lucky 7’
What happens a group of Queens gas station employees hit the lottery? Hopefully, things turn out a little better than they did for Hugo from “Lost.” Sept. 24, 10 p.m., ABC

‘The Crazy Ones’
Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar are back on TV as father-daughter ad execs. It’s like “Mad Men,” except you probably won’t want to cry into a brandy snifter afterwards. Sept. 26, 9 p.m., CBS

‘The Michael J. Fox Show’
Michael J. Fox, who had to quit acting because of Parkinson’s disease, returns to TV, playing a news anchor who had to quit because of Parkinson’s, but wishes to return to TV. Sept. 26, 9:30 p.m., NBC

‘Masters of Sex’
Biopics are always too short to capably encapsulate full, messy lives, so hopefully this look at pioneering sex researchers Masters and Johnson — respectively, William (Michael Sheen) and Virginia (Lizzy Caplan) — will fare better than the Alfred Kinsey biopic “Kinsey.” Also, hey, it’s Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan (and Beau Bridges, and Alison Janney again)! Sept. 29, 10 p.m., Showtime

‘Super Fun Night’
ABC is betting big bucks on this Rebel Wilson-starring comedy, giving it a cushy slot right after “Modern Family.” Wilson plays an attorney whose weekly girls night gets thrown for a loop when she gets a promotion. Oct. 2, 9:30 p.m., ABC

‘Sean Saves the World’
The age-old “Can a working parent balance family and career?” question gets flipped on its head when Sean Hayes stars as a divorced dad whose teen daughter moves in. Fresh off “Smash,” Megan Hilty co-stars. Oct. 3, 9 p.m., NBC

‘Witches of East End’
A show about a family of witches attempting to live normal lives despite the newest generation’s burgeoning powers, on Lifetime, seems almost certainly destined to be the twee-est of chick TV. However, the previews have been positively dark. And it co-stars Freddie Prinze Jr. Enough said. Oct. 6, 10 p.m., Lifetime

‘Dracula’
With a Friday night timeslot, NBC is basically predicting that you won’t watch this show. Still, maybe it’ll have the “Blue Bloods” effect and become weirdly watchable. We’re tuning in to see if Jonathan Rhys-Meyers can pull off a cape and fangs. Oct. 25, 10 p.m., NBC

 
 
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