Last night’s episode of “Game of Thrones” was full of promised reunions, male ego, and what appeared to be cut scenes from the last “Pirates of the Caribbean movie.”
But what were the craziest moments of “Stormborn?” We’ve got them here, ranked from, “Girl you crazy,” to “Ooh, baby no.”
5. Sam’s very obvious cure for Jorah’s greyscale
First of all, “Game of Thrones” hasn’t provided sufficient proof — therefore, we’re not entirely convinced that greyscale and eczema are not one in the same. Second of all, if the cure for greyscale all along was just peeling said greyscale off, we’re not sure how this isn’t common knowledge. Literally seems like anyone could do it.
4. Arya and Nymeria’s reunion.
Arya let Nymeria go in the first season to protect her. Six seasons later, she’s reunited with her direwolf, only to let her go again. It’s beautiful! It’s sad! It’s painful! All the feels.
3. Missandei and Grey Worm’s sex scene.
This scene was way too long. Way. Too Long. As endearing as their characters are, there’s just not enough interest in Missandei nor Grey Worm — or how their love affair that nobody cares about relates to the bigger story — for “Thrones” to spend this much unwarranted time on their glorified dry humping.
2. Cersei reinventing history.
Cersei’s accounts of Dany’s conquering totally make it seem like Khaleesi is pure evil and cares nothing for the people. But the thing is, Cersei is pure evil and cares nothing for the people. So we’re not really sure where the beef is.
1. That epic ocean battle.
The episode ended with a hectic and very confusing battle that pitted Greyjoy against Grejoy. In one corner, Euron, still trying to convince us all through his bared teeth that he is really, and truly evil. We believe you, my dude! In the other corner are the youngest Greyjoys — Theon, with his tail between his legs, and Yara fighting for her life.
There are countless casualties. Some of those annoying girls from Dorne die! And in the end, both Yara and Ellaria are captured — likely as the gifts Euron promised Cersei. What does this mean for Dany’s plans of world domination? And ugh, aren’t we all sick of Euron yet?
