Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3 Dany Curls
There are no curling irons, so what kind of sorcery is this? Photo: HBO

A whole lot of things happened in last night’s episode of “Game of Thrones:” Cersei proved once again to be the second coming of the Mad King; OG and fan favorite Olenna Tyrell met her end after confessing that she killed Joffrey; and Dany and Jon made eyes at each other, a lot. Also Euron was there, and he’s still the best slash worst!

 

But more importantly, when “The Queen’s Justice” wasn’t doling out some intense speechifying (looking at you again, Dany and Jon) and impressing us much with Bran’s creepiness, it was upping both the beauty and the fashion factors. I mean, these characters had LOOKS. Here is a list of the best (and worst), in no particular order.

 

Cersei’s goth squad

 

Cersei might be the first Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but she hasn’t done a lot of ruling. Mostly she’s creeping around, scheming for new ways to enact her revenge and murdering people all over the place. And you know what else she’s done? Outfitted the Kingsguard — and herself — in all black, all the time. It also kind of looks like all of the female servants have been commanded to have the same haircut as Cersei, which is fine. If she has to suffer with the world’s most mangled pixie cut, everyone else should too.

 

Melisandre’s Trump-inspired look

 

The Red Witch — who hid away from Jon on a cliff before foreshadowing(?) a grim death for herself and Varys — was very orange. Like, Donald Trump orange. It was a look!

Missandei's brows

On point, as ever.

Jaime’s hair — are those supposed to be bangs? 

It’s really bad this season and honestly borderline offensive.

Cersei’s drug store lipstick

If you too were concerned about Cersei wearing the lipstick from Rite Aid that is in the 99-cent dispenser, you were likely relieved when it turned out to be of the matte poison kind. Surely, they could have found a shade that looked better on ol’ girl, but I digress.

Khaleesi's suspiciously perfect curls

Seeing as there's no electricity, and no curling irons, I'm assuming that some sort of sorcery is involved when it comes to styling Dany's hair.

Sam cures eczema

While in modern times, a bit of cocoa butter or hydrocortisone would do, Sam fixed Jorah’s greyscale (eczema of the olden times) with a good flaying. Ser Jorah is cured and for that, I am thankful.

High-low footwear at the Citadel

They’re all wearing Birkenstocks under their potato sacks, right?