Never has an episode of television encouraged such a torrent of emotions as Sunday night’s “Game of Thrones.” This writer, for one, felt every single emotion in her small register. Which is mostly just a little horny and very sad.
Many, many things happened, and most of them made little to no sense. Jon and friends took their ill-advised trip to the wall; the Night King proved that he’s still a mute monster; Arya showed her true creepy colors, to the peak confusion of Sansa; Uncle Benjen aka ya boy Coldhands made a too brief appearance; and sweet, sweet Viserys left us for um, colder pastures. But what about everything else? Here are all the questions we have after watching “Beyond the Wall.”
When is the Hound going to get over fire?
Listen, guy: your big brother stuck your head in the flames once as a child, and it was traumatic. Totally understandable. But it’s been a long while now. And considering fire is the only thing that can save Westeros at this point, you’re going to have to get over that cute lil’ phobia and stop acting like a punk just because some guy with one eye is waving around his flaming sword.
Will we ever see Tormund and Brienne’s happily ever after?
Tormund, a wildling with a tough exterior who just wants to live inside a ‘90s era romantic comedy, tells the Hound that he wants to make babies with Brienne. It’s a great idea. How do we make this happen? Is there anyway that Jaime is going to get in the way, now that Brienne is headed for King’s Landing? Jaime, don’t you ruin this for me.
What is Gendry's exact location now? Asking for a friend.
Did he survive his frostbite? Considering he was the only one with a hood on his head when the group left Eastwatch — and thereby the only one with a lick of sense — the answer better be: yes.
Is Rhaegal already on his way back to Dragonstone?
Once Viserion was shot down, Rhaegal turned around, mouthed, “Oh, nope,” and left the battle immediately. Smart boy! But he’s still around, right? We can’t lose all the things.
Melisandre has to come back at this point, right?
Earlier this season, Melisandre promised she would be back to die in Westeros which, creepy. Now, with Thoros and his topknot gone, she’s the only person around — that we know of and marginally distrust — who can bring the Jons and the Berics of the world back to life. Or are both of them bound to die a final death, sooner than we think?
Is Daenerys really barren?
This episode brought up Dany’s ability to conceive a lot! Tyrion would like to know, thank you very much, who is going to rule after her if she can’t, you know, produce a royal heir; and she tells Jon — and us for the umpteenth time, we get it! — that the dragons are like her children, because she can’t have children. Is this just something she thinks, that could actually be false? It’s pretty unclear!
How does Arya use these faces, really? Is there a tutorial?
Before Sunday’s episode, it seemed like Arya’s face swapping was a matter of seriousness and skill. Now, it kind of looks like a murder-y DYI gone wrong — this girl is keeping creepy lifelike masks in her knapsack, y’all.
Besides, isn’t there a better way to organize them, or keep them from being rummaged through? Of course, these aren’t modern times, but it seems like there should be some equivalent of the container store somewhere in Westeros.
Is Daenerys and Jon’s romance hot or creepy? Please help.
Firstly, let’s acknowledge that Daenerys told Tyrion that Jon Snow is “too little” for her. But as soon as she saw his stab wounds — and was distinctly distracted by his six pack — she forgot all about it. Because, what, she’s into dead guys? OK, girl.
But really: This aunt and her nephew are really, truly falling in love! So much so that they even held hands after a close call with death! It’s what one may call the real deal. I mean, their blossoming love persevered even after Jon made the grave mistake of calling Daenerys Dany for no reason. He really has know that people who give out nicknames without permission are the worst kind of people, but whatever! Who said romance is dead?
Where is Ghost?
Where. Is. He? It just kind of seems like having a maybe magical albino direwolf around would be helpful to Jon, right?
Is the Night King mute?
The Night King and his dudes never speak. The wights at least groan, like proper, well behaved ice zombies. But the Night King? Nope. Here’s hoping by the end of the series run, there will be an episode in which he speaks and Kristen Schaal’s voice goes ringing through the air.