Proving that justice doesn’t always come in a courtroom, the creators of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” have revealed that although they gave their hero all the trappings that make other men hate themselves — the cartoonishly flowy hair, the abs shrink-wrapped by alabaster skin — as they dangled their newborn creation over the magical River Styx, the mystical waters didn’t wash over one area.
That’s right: Jon Snow’s Achilles’ heel is a bit higher.
This was alluded to last season, when Snow came back from the dead after suffering a few little flesh wounds, exposing a backside as tight as two flesh-covered ball bearings. The warrior Tormund, jealous much, said he knew Snow wasn’t a god because, “I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?”
As it turns out, in every joke, there is a little truth. In a new interview with Esquire, creators David Benioff and Daniel Weiss spoke of star Kit Harington‘s perfection: “He just had the look: the brooding intensity, the physical grace, the chip-on-the-shoulder quality that we always associate with extraordinarily short people.”
Then they lowered the boom: “There has to be some downside to being Kit Harington, right? It’s impossible not to like him. Maddening. The one thing we can do is saddle his character with a tiny pecker.”
Hee hee! The creators didn’t reveal how this lack of development may further work itself into the show, what it meant for Harington’s audition or whether he has to utilize Stanislavski’s “Magic If” once the cameras roll. But a nation of stewing, envious men will draw their own conclusions.
Harington’s co-stars went on to poke at him in the “VH1 Celebrity Roast” of an article. “There’s a consistent drumbeat of taking the piss out of his incredible hair and startling good looks,” says Emilia Clarke. “His hair just takes over everything. My ridiculous handcrafted wig doesn’t come close to standing up to his man bun.”
“There’s a change in the level of female lust in the room when Kit is there, which all the males find annoying and disrespectful,” added Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.
“Reprobates,” a taciturn Harington responded, perhaps in character.
