Rick and Morty is on a hiatus. And for — as Mr. Poopybutthole puts it — a really long time.
So what is there to do but talk about the 31 episodes that we don't need to wait for. The animated snippets of 21 minutes that make us laugh, argue and contemplate. We'll make more T-Shirts, we'll quote our favorite lines and, of course, we'll rank them. In every which way.
At Metro, a group of Rick and Morty experts took the time to rate all 31 episodes based on five criteria — plot, gags, characters, moments and rewatchability. The totals were then averaged out and the following is look at our findings. Where did we go wrong? We can't wait to tell you to "Shut up, Morty, you vindictive little turd."
31. Rickmancing the Stone (S3, E2)
After the hotly anticipated Season 3 premiere, this Mad Max parody fell a little flat. None of the storylines really resonanted landing it at the bottom of our list.
30. Rest and Ricklaxation (S3, E6)
This is the one where Rick and Morty's personality traits were seperated in sone kind of septic tank. There were good moments to be sure and maybe it will age better as the hiatus continues.
29. A Rickle in Time (S2, E1)
After Rick and Morty freeze time to clean up the mess after the Season 1 Finale's mega party, things go awry. The episode was humrous but contains little quotable or re-watchable moments.
El episodio A Rickle in Time es UNA LOCURA. pic.twitter.com/D8cC37WH7B— Pablo Sanchez (@PabloSanchez) August 20, 2017
28. The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy (S3, E5)
Another forgettable chapter in Season 3, at least in the immediacy of it's first airing, the B plot about Summer wanting bigger boobs didn't work and the Rick and Jerry dynamic has never been interesting, aside from Rick's put downs.
27. The ABC's of Beth (S3, E9)
In the wake of so many spectacular other worlds in prior episodes, it seemed Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland tried to hard here. Froopyland was kind of dumb, and Jerry's alien girlfriend was far from interesting.
26. Pilot (S1, E1)
Not surprisingly, the show's pilot did not age well, but has some memorable moments. "Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here!"
25. The Rickchurian Mortydate (S3E10)
The premise was interersting but it seemed to be one note, with Rick besting the President in less memorable fashion than Pickle Rick did earlier in Season 3.
24. Auto Erotic Assimilation (S2E3)
Rick and Morty purists will note that the top 24 are the Mortiest of the Morty. The episode, wich follows Rick as he returns to visit his love Unity, has some hilarious Easter Eggs (like the Community cast in Alien form) and one-liners, ("We need a hang glider and a crotchless uncle sam costume, and I want the entire fld of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads, and I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father.")
23. Raising Gazorpazorp (S1, E7)
Another very funny, but single-note episode. Summer comes into her own as a character really for the first time as Morty struggles to raise his alien child.
22. Rick Potion No. 9 (S1, E6)
The Cronenberg plot is hilarious — as is the first sown seeds of series continuty. It is the first universe destroyed by Morty and Rick.
21. The Wedding Squanchers (S2, E10)
The return of some amazing repeat characters can't save an ending many found unsatisfactory.
20. Interdimentional Cable 2 (S2, E8)
It wasn't close to the original, but the plot about Jerry's penis was funny. " Excuse me, nurse, can you take my temperature? Because I think I have Jan Quadrant Vincent fever over here."
19. Lawnmower Dog (S1, E2)
A great premise with great moments, Rick and Morty was still in its infancy stage.
18. Big Trouble in Little Sanchez (S2, E7)
"I'm Tiny Rick!" Enough said.
17. Get Schwifty (S2, E5)
This was the most divisive episode of the series, half of our experts had it in their top five while the other half had it rated poorly. The song is really annoying, but the gags are fantastic.
16. Look Whose Purging Now (S2, E9)
This episode is very solid, and no doubt history will be kind as time progresses. "She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty... It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy, Morty... And now it has a hole in it."
15. Anatomy Park (S1, E3)
The series really took off with the third episode, whose premise is as good and hilarious as any on the show.
14. Close Encounters of the Rick Kind (S1, E10)
The first introduction to the council of Rick's brings us Dufus Rick — this author's favorite Rick.
13. Morty's Mind Blowers (S3, E8)
An episode you need to watch a second time to fully enjoy, the clip show of clips we've never seen before has a few phenomenal moments and a great resolution.
12. Ricksy Business (S1, E11)
The most epic party in the multi-verse brings Bird Person and Abrahoff Linkler into being. We have zero complaints on this one.
11. Something Ricked Comes This Way (S1, E9)
This epsiode might catch you by surprise but it has everything. Rick annihilating the Devil just because he can and hey, is Pluto a planet?
10. The Rickshank Redemption (S3, E1)
Maybe this episode cracks the top 10 because between April 1 and July 30 of 2017 we watched it over and over again. Either way, Rick's escape is epic.
9. Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender (S3, E4)
The episode goes from 0-100 after the big reveal, at the "defeat" of worldender, with a masterful balance of darkness and humor only Rick and Morty has.
8. Mortynight Run (S2, E2)
The Jerry Day Care plot is epic, and Rick's love for Blips and Chips is endearing. But that damn fart is so annoying...
7. The Ricks Must Be Crazy (S2, E6)
Stephen Colbert's cameo as a scientist living in a tiny universe created by Rick to power his car battery is the series' best guest starring role thus far.
6. Pickle Rick (S3, E3)
No one could wait for Pickle Rick as his existence leaked between seasons. He didn't dissapoint. One of the most rewatchable episodes of the series.
5. The Ricklantis Mix Up (S3, E7)
The same love we have for for Dufas Rick had us on the edge of our seats as we got a look inside of the Citadel of Ricks.
4. M. Night Shaym-Aliens (S1, E4)
This episode is really the one that broke Rick and Morty onto the forefront as one of the best cartoons ever made. Rick and Morty are stuck inside a simulation inside a simulation inside a simulation — I think — and Jerry is winning advertising awards for his epic campaign "Hungry for Apples?"
3. Meeseeks and Destroy (S1, E5)
A glorious one-two punch saw the debut of Rick's friends the Meeseeks, trying to teach Jerry how to play golf. ("I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks. What about your short game?") Morty gets raped by an alien.
2. Rixty Minutes (S1, E8)
The first interdimentional cable episode was non-stop gags, one-liners and rewatchable moments.
1. Total Rickall (S2, E4)
Literally too many amazing characters and quotes to list in this 1,000+ word article. "It's me, cousin Nicky. I'm walkin' here!"