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'Stranger Things 2:' To Bob or not to Bob

A case for — and against — Joyce's new boyfriend.
Bob Newby Stranger Things Sean Astin
Good ol' Bob Newby. Photo: Courtesy of Netflix

By now, surely, you’ve binge watched the second season of “Stranger Things” in its entirety. And naturally, you have some feelings about Joyce’s (Winona Ryder) new boyfriend Bob Newby, played by Sean Astin.

Two of Metro’s “Stranger Things” fans, Rachael Vaughan Clemmons and Kate Mooney, agree to disagree when it comes to one of the series newest and (um, spoilers ahead) most dead and demo-dog gobbled up characters. Here’s what they think about ol’ Bob the Brain.

Kate Mooney: OK, so let's talk about Bob. What about Bob, Rachael?

Rachael Vaughan Clemmons: I love Bob. I did not like Bob at first — you know that first scene where he just comes into Winona’s job all creepy and then they make out in the storeroom? My first thought was: OK, but who is watching the store? This seems irresponsible.

KM: My first thought was, why would goddess Winona want to make out with Samwise Gamgee? C'mon.

RVC: And my second thought was: Winona deserves a Frodo, not a Samwise. As in a main character. Not actual Frodo. Frodo sucks.

KM: She deserves an Aragorn!

RVC: Frodo in the streets, Aragorn in the sheets.

KM: Winona is a goddess. But Joyce is a goddess too, even though she doesn't know it.

RVC: Bob treated her like a goddess. He was really nice to her. He annoyed me originally because obviously Joyce and Hopper belong together forever. But I got sweet on Bob once he figured out the tunnel stuff. He was just like a regular dude who wanted to help!

KM: Bob was just there as a plot device. I think he was there to make you think, "But why haven't she and Hopper done it yet?!" Also, and this is VERY IMPORTANT: I got a sinister vibe from him early on. I ran into an 11-year-old aquaintance of mine at Fort Greene's The Great PUPkin last Saturday, and we were chatting about “Stranger Things 2.” She asked me, straight up, "Is Will's mom's new boyfriend a government agent?" I wouldn't answer because, spoilers, but I was like I FEEL YOU CHILD.

RVC: That’s just because he wears the ‘80s equivalent to chinos, though. I mean, by the time he died, I was really sad.

KM: Why be sad about Bob's death? He got to be a hero.

RVC: He was so close! He almost made it.

KM: I just read an LA Times article in which, pathetically, Sean Astin says that he asked the Duffer Brothers to make him a hero. Because while filming "The Goonies," actress Kerri Green, who played Andy, slipped and fell off the plank on the pirate ship, and others dove in to help her but “Astin froze.”

Here’s the quote —

“I said to the Duffers from the beginning, ‘Please let me do something heroic.’” Astin added. “I’m a little boy in my heart, and that’s what I want. And I don’t think they’ll ever go for 5 foot 7 stocky James Bond. But this is something I can do.”

RVC: Oh that is sad.

KM: “I'm a little boy in my heart?” Pleaseee. And again, Winona does not need to bang a man who feels like a little boy in his heart. She already has a demon-possessed little boy to worry about.

RVC: But Sean Astin is playing Bob. Bob isn’t real Kate! … Or is he?

KM: I get they wanted somebody from an iconic ‘80s film, but again, sex appeal, please for the love of god. Joyce is a WOMAN. Aren’t there more attractive ‘80s icons for Winone to bone? (It rhymes!)

RVC: But why do you hate Bob, actually, Kate?

KM: Bob is corny AF. And remember when he gave Will THE WORST ADVICE?

RVC: He did give Will pretty terrible advice. But to be fair, he didn’t know anything about anything yet, because Joyce hadn’t told him. I mean, maybe he didn’t deserve Joyce but he didn’t deserve death!

KM: He did die for his mistakes. The show needed someone to die. Bob was just a placeholder character. I don’t get why fans got so attached to him — why did you get so attached?

RVC: He proved his worth! He seemed useless, then when Joyce kind of confided in him, he came through and saved Hopper — so with no Bob, there would be no Hopper. Think about that for a sec. And then when she full on confided in him he came through! But then he DIED.

KM: Bob had to be sacrificed so Winona could get that good police chief d—k.

RVC: I guess I got attached to Bob the Brain because like Joyce, I too want to be loved.

KM: Do you really want a Bob-type to be your boyfriend though? Just so you can feel good about yourself?

RVC: I definitely see myself settling in the future so, yes.

KM: I'm glad Bob has helped you with your personal growth.

RVC: It’s just the beginning!

 
 
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