2014 was the year of anacondas, Nicki Minaj gave us the song “Anaconda,” and the Discovery Channel promised to show a man getting eaten alive by an Anaconda. Too bad they failed to deliver what was promised.
Paul Rosolie (part-time naturalist and full-time not-eaten-alive-by-snake-guy) promised that he would be eaten alive by a twenty-foot Anaconda to raise awareness for the Amazon. In preparation he donned a suit of armor and had a staff on hand to monitor his wellbeing as he was eaten alive.
Learn how @PaulRosolie‘s suit works with our interactive http://t.co/vceig7SDzm pic.twitter.com/Qy0lJy4TsU
— Discovery (@Discovery) December 8, 2014
Instead he wrestled around with it like he was trapped in a Freudian nightmare and ended up getting just his head in the snake’s mouth before calling it quits.
Twitter of course was furious:
The #EatenAlive guy wasn’t #EatenAlive ? My life is a lie. pic.twitter.com/qwi3X1X9N7
— Erik (@EStenehjem) December 8, 2014
Hey @discovery, can I have my own show? #EatenAlive pic.twitter.com/OLEZykn1sx
— BarstoolTrent (@BarstoolTrent) December 8, 2014
Reid/JMN: Feels like -15C but sun/cloud high zero. Snow on the way tmr. Did you waste ur time watching #EatenAlive? pic.twitter.com/2QwsF2cBXn
— 98.9 THE DRIVE (@989THEDRIVE) December 8, 2014
You just wasted two hours of your life watching #EatenAlive and the guy didn’t even get eaten… You okay? pic.twitter.com/YCDjPfRZKF
— Lauren Lavoie (@LittleRedCactus) December 8, 2014
Here’s a video of what really should have been called #JustTheTip rather than #EatenAlive:
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Turns out all our fears we’re true and the only people we can depend upon to deliver anything actually fun to watch involving anacondas are our true friends Jennifer Lopez and Nicki Minaj.
We’ll leave you with those:
