Oh man, if Corey Feldman of The Lost Boys — hell, even Corey Feldman of Goonies — could see Corey Feldman right now, he'd kick his ass.

"Who is this dweeb, parading around like he's the second coming of Michael Freaking Jackson," Corey of yesteryear would say, shrugging on a jean jacket with the sleeves cut off. "Let's go pummel this punk."

Alas, that Corey (man,Goonies was good. Just writing this post made us want to go find a dark room somewhere and watch it) is gone forever. In his place, is middle-aged, weirdo Corey Feldman, who released this video to MTV.com last week, in preview of his upcoming solo album. Because that's what washed-up 80s kid stars do (when they're not dying of drug overdoses — making this sort of a coup for the guy, really). They record solo albums.

The music video for the single "Ascension Millennium,"which just hit YouTube yesterday, features Feldman channeling his best MJ (that's not to say it's a good one) dancing through a mansion inhabited by chicks in lingerie to an 80s pop beat. It's horrible and yet...we're strangely compelled.

 

You make your own decision.

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