If your most primal nightmare is watching Madonna dressed up as a clown while pedaling toward you on a miniature bike, then we have good news and bad news for you.

The bad news is this is real. The good news is the entire thing took place in Australia, very far from most of us, and is over,CBS Newsreported.

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The intimate concert, which was called “Tears of a Clown,” was carnival themed and streamed live via Periscope (a hip young app we’re sure Madge is just all about), reportedly starting several hours late.


It apparently began with Madonna pedaling in on a miniature bike just like Jigsaw from the “Saw” franchise.

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The show was a mishmash of things, including anecdotes from her personal life “testing out stand-up comedy routines between songs, giving two audience members each $100 and sporting a jewel-encrusted grill that made her difficult to understand,” CBS reported.

If you’re really sad that you missed out on this materialization of all your fears,news.com.au reported that the entire thing was filmed and will be included on the DVD release of her current Rebel Heart Tour.

Matt Lee is a web producer for Metro New York. He writes about almost everything and anything. Talk to him (or yell at him) on Twitter so he doesn’t feel lonely:@off_Yellow.

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