I know it's a little counterintuitive to say this in the "going out" section, but I'd like to highly recommend everyone stay home this St. Patrick's Day. The most sidewalk pukingest, fistfighty, vaguely racist stereotype holiday is basically like throwing a birthday party for New Year's Eve on Marathon Monday after all four pro sports teams won a championship on the same day. They should probably change the name to St. Amateur's Day. But since there's no stopping a tidal wave once it's about to crash, especially if it's been dyed green, here are a few places you might consider for your merriment.

 

The Irish pub industrial complex of the Briar Group have, naturally, got big things planned all weekend. St. Patrick's Day, like all holidays (and birthdays), are weeklong events now. Ned Devine's (1 Faneuil Hall Market Place, Boston)?kicks things off on Friday with a Guinness and Bushmills party with music from the Galway Guild, as well as a contest for a trip to Ireland, where St. Patrick's Day is known as "Saturday." Nearby, The Harp (85 Causeway St., Boston) opens at 10 a.m. Saturday, which should help you get a head start on blacking out by 1 p.m. when the Bruins face off. Over at O'Brien's Pub (3 Harvard Ave., Allston), the music bill features bands with names like Whiskey Kill and Old Hat (and if that doesn’t sound boozy enough for you, Old Hat features members of a band called Wicked Whiskey).

 

The only thing less Irish than St. Patrick's Day is Mexico, but that isn't stopping Olé (11 Springfield St., Cambridge) and Zocalo Cocina Mexicana (35 Stanhope St., Boston) from bridging the divide with their Mexican-themed Irish specials on Saturday: Try the corned beef and cabbage tacos or the Baby Guinness Shot, a blend of Patron XO Cafe and Irish cream.

 

The Common Ground (83 Harvard Ave., Allston) will feature entertainment all day — from bagpipers to step dancers to the Boston Gaelic Fire Brigade Pipes and Drums players. (And, just guessing here, a DJ playing lots and lots of U2.) Their bangers and mash, boiled dinner and shepherd's pie should help soak up all of the whiskey. Speaking of soaked with whiskey, over in Southie, Local 149 (149 P St., Boston)?is serving a limited release from Crispin Cider, called Marvin, as well as an Irish Stout Yeast Cider (technically from Minneapolis, but at least it's an alternative to the ubiquitous Magners). The Beehive (541 Tremont St., Boston), meanwhile, is partnering with the Boston Irish Tourism Association for the artsy, French, jazzy bistro version of an authentic St. Patrick's Day, with a performance from The Ivy Leaf, a traditional Irish quartet, and specials like Finaan Haddie smoked fish and chips with malt vinegar aioli. Just like back in the old country.