Imagine a world where we didn’t have to go grocery shopping. No long lines, no endless aisles … and no metal in our food.
For months, we’ve been under attack by a seemingly endless line of culprits who keep tampering with our food. And while I would never support such a dangerous act, I’m beginning to see the point of it. Since it would obviously suck to swallow a piece of metal while enjoying your daily dose of Kraft Dinner, what if we just stopped making food altogether? What if we just ate out all the time? It would seem like a childhood dream come true!
Don’t want metal with your avocado? Order in. Not a fan of pins in your bread? Go out to your favourite restaurant. Sick of overpriced Safeway? Go to the drive-thru. Instead of wasting valuable time checking our food for metals, we should instead be exploring some of Calgary’s many great restaurants. The Nook, Happy Hill, Japanese Village Steak House, Joyce on 4th and Catch are all great places to start.
For me, Rouge is an outstanding choice. It also happens to be a great place for a first date. It’s cosy, elegant and expensive, which is especially good if you aren’t paying.
Plus, not being able to buy food from the grocery store saves us from suffering through the dreaded “home-cooked meal dates.” If I wanted to eat at home, I would.
Another plus to eating out is the fact that a food revolution of this magnitude might actually be able to save our unstable economy. If we all start patronizing restaurants, we’ll create jobs — jobs that will lead to spending, which in turn will increase consumer confidence. I wasn’t a business major, but that seems like a perfectly valid way of warding off the recession.
It’s unfortunate that food tampering might cause us to take such a stand. On the other hand, if we’re already eating metal, how much worse can McDonald’s possibly be?