When asked what she wanted for Christmas, R&B singer Rihanna told a British television interviewer that she wants some “great food and great sex.” The latter may be a little hard to wrap, but how about a gift that may just lead to some greatness in that department?
In his 25 years as a marriage and family therapist in Winnipeg, Dr. Todd Sellick says that the biggest problem couples face when it comes to sex is not knowing each other’s fantasies or expectations. That’s why he and his wife Jan developed A Private Affair: The Erotic Game of Secrets, Plans & Promises for Couples, a 500-card game that facilitates the sharing of sexual secrets, opinions, and requests among other things.
I love that you can play it anywhere, in restaurants, over coffee, while out for a walk, or during car rides, say, en route to the in-laws for Christmas dinner. You’re bound to arrive in a good mood. $34.99 Available through www.aprivateaffairgame.com
If you discover that one of her fantasies is to have a nice, long romantic massage, invest in a set of bSwish Massage Candles. The scented candles come in Fig Wood, Amber and Rose Patchouli. The candles melt at low temperature are set in an elegantly stylish porcelain holder designed to let you pour the warm wax on to your hands or directly on to your honey for a soothing and sexy massage. $22 Available at www.comeasyouare.com.
Rather than simply share your romantic fantasies, make each other actual characters in a romance novel with UStar Novels customized books. Choose a genre — from romantic to more racy — and answer a series of personalized questions about you and your partner and, in a week, you’ll have your very own sexy reading material to share starring … the two of you! $32 at www.Ustarnovels.com. Metro readers enter code DCMETRO for a 25 per cent discount.
Nothing symbolizes a solid relationship quite so well as a tree, deepening its roots and growing stronger with each year. Give your love a concrete reminder of this symbol while helping the earth by planting a Love Tree.
Started by former journalist Andrea Koehle Jones, Love Trees sends seedlings to schools in Canada and the United States so kids can offset your carbon emissions by planting a tree of their own and watching it grow. Each tree bought comes with a Wish Tree Certificate so you’ll have a physical reminder of how you want your relationship to grow $2.95 — $500 Available at www.lovetrees.ca
Express your love for your partner by being selfless. OXFAM Canada has a number of ways you can help others from buying a chicken or a goat for someone in the developing world or by supporting home-based care workers who attend to people suffering from HIV and AIDS. $15 Chicken/$58 Goat/$150 AIDS/HIV home care. Available at www.oxfamunwrapped.ca
Finally, you don’t need to spend a lot of money to come up with a romantic gift for your sweetie. Do what author Ellen Green did. She kept an ongoing list of every sweet, remarkable and unremarkable thing her husband did throughout the year and gave him the list every Valentine’s Day.
She published the best of 20 years of lists in Remember the Sweet Things: One List, Two Lives, and Twenty Years of Marriage.
If you start now, you should have quite a list by next Christmas.
– Josey Vogels is a sex and relationship columnist and author of five books on the subjects. For more info, visit www.joseyvogels.com.