Jake has been around the Glamour magazine offices since 1956, doling out advice to single women. No, this is not a dude in his mid-70s still discussing the finer points of “booty calls.” Many men have shared his name, and the title can be held only as long as the man giving the advice is still single. Well, one Jake in particular had to hang up his columnist hat recently, but he has continued to share his wisdom with a new book. “Always Hit on the Wingman … And 9 Other Secret Rules for Getting the Love Life You Want” offers 10 great tips that will help women relax and learn to love the dating game. In order to protect his anonymity, we e-mailed to asked Jake a few questions about the book.
This advice about hitting on the friend of the person you’re interested in is great, but I’m wondering if you could offer additional advice about fending off the slightly misled wingman.
Eye contact. It’s all about eye contact. While you’re making chit-chat with his nice but neutered friend, give your target the odd glance. You don’t need to shoot arrows directly into the target’s bullseye, just send a few warning shots his way. Let him know his friend doesn’t have all your attention.
Men say that they love to be hit on, but there’s the school of thought that insists that men want to be the ones to chase. What are your thoughts?
We definitely love to chase. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to be hit on. This back-and-forth defines the art of flirting — and to some extent, the art of dating. It happens from the very first glance (who looks at who first?) to the first intimate moment (who undresses who?). It’s the world’s most complicated and hilarious and maddening and sexy game of tag. You’re it.
Name one fictional character who embraces all 10 of your rules, and why?
Joey Potter, from “Dawson’s Creek.” She lived across the creek from Dawson and was his best friend. Then she fell in love with him, and then his best friend fell in love with her. And so on. Hollywood is disastrous in its representation of women and Joey was a rare standout character. She knew how sexy she was — Joey’s smarts made her a prize and she rocked them, hard. She made Pacey wait for the right time for sex, didn’t pretend to care about sports, and, if it’s not obvious: She knew to hit on the wingman.
What’s the number one thing that women get wrong about men when it comes to dating?
Not taking control; playing the dating “game.” If you like a guy, stop reviewing the 150 tips your friends and magazines have given you about “making him like you,” and walk over and buy him a drink. What’s the worst thing that’s going to happen? It takes confidence to do that. Confidence is the sexiest.