Head over heels for hope - Metro US

Head over heels for hope

On a recent morning I hit on a great truth about love. Romantic relationships call into play the two most powerful and overwhelming forces known to human kind. Hope and hormones.

I realized this during a phone conversation with my friend Rob. It went something like this.

Rob: The most amazing thing has happened. Incredible. Stupendous. You won’t believe it.

Me: So, those new strawberry-esque doughnuts at Tim Hortons. The best thing ever? Or a wicked plot by Weight Watchers?

Rob: What about my news?

Me: You’ve met a woman. She’s perfect. You’re madly in love. You never knew you could feel this way.

Rob: Well … yeah. Except for the part about … well … yeah.

Me: Honey, I worry about your heart.

Rob: You’re the one eating doughnuts.

Me: Falling in love makes you irrational.

Rob: Irrational? Not ever. Totally not. Me irrational? What? Huh?

Me: What about that woman with “Elvis Lives” tattooed on her forehead?

Rob: She was very … optimistic.

Me: And the one who thought pigeons speak to her?

Rob: She’ll never feel alone. But this one is different. We’ve had three whole dates and I haven’t once felt like suggesting she’d benefit from lengthy psychotherapy.

Me: What about how you behave? The short list of things you’ve done for love includes: Bought a ferret, grown your hair, cut your hair, studied “clowning,” sworn you love Barry Manilow, sworn you hate Barry Manilow, sworn you love camping — which, if you remember, led to you actually having to go camping, grown your hair again, and worn spandex.

Rob: I liked the spandex. Once I got that chafing under control. Anyway, what about listening to my heart?

Me: I’m afraid you can’t hear it over your hormones. Sweetie, why do you want to try this again?

Rob: Because maybe this will be the woman that’ll make inane love songs seem like deep, meaningful insight. Maybe she’ll be the person who will know me; the good, the bad, the bordering on repellent and still love me like springtime. And maybe I’ll do the same for her. What’s it worth risking for that?

Me: Truthfully? … Everything you’ve got. Just look after yourself, OK?

Rob: What’s the worst that can happen?

Me: Remember Raw Food Girl?

Rob: I have to run. We’ve signed up to take Norwegian country dancing.

Me: Good for you, sweetie. I’m right behind you.

The things we do for love.

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