Hey girl, feeling unproductive at work? Just glue your labia shut, male chiropractor says - Metro US

Hey girl, feeling unproductive at work? Just glue your labia shut, male chiropractor says

Hey ladies. It seems the reason why men want to take control of your reproductive rights is because you just didn’t come up with any better ideas, like gluing your labia shut during your period instead of using pesky pads, tampons or cups.

It’s almost as if you understand how your own lady parts work.

“[Y]ou as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t,” Daniel Dopps, the inventor of The Mensez Adhesive Vaginal Lipstick, told one person who commented on Mensez’s Facebook page, which has since been “hacked.” “Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25% of the time, making them far less productive than they could be. Women tend to be far more creative than men, but their periods that [sic] stifle them and play with their heads.”

Dopps, a chiropractor from Kansas, said though it will have to be tested, his product is what makes sense for that “self-cleaning shower drain” between your legs,News Corp Australia reported.

“Mensez feminine lipstick is a natural patented compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the labia minora and causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit,” Doppsexplained on his LinkedIn page. “The Mensez compound is instantly washed away with urine, which releases the menstrual fluid along with the urine into the toilet every time a woman urinates. No pads or tampons are needed. Safe, secure and clean. #MenstruationMatters #Mensez”

Except, that’s not exactly how the undercarriage of a woman is set up, nor should the vagina be treated as a bladder, opponents have pointed out.

For the naysayers who called Dopps a misogynist, he has a rebuttal,Forbes reported: “My receptionist is a lesbian.”

If you think, “No way anyone will fall for this,” you aren’t alone, but you are wrong. Dopps secured apatentfor his vagina glue on Jan. 10.

Mensez Patent by Metro US on Scribd

The U.S. FDA regulates medical devices, which tampons are considered, so Dopps’ vaginal lipstick would most likely fall under federal regulation as well, Forbes pointed out. The patent is only one step on the path to gluing women’s bathing suit areas shut; getting company executives interested, medical trials and “regulatory hoops” would be next.

Oh, and then that whole thing about appealing to women who — thumbing their noses at toxic shock syndrome —are cool sealing menstrual blood into their bodies with a glue that is resistant to all warm liquids besides urine.

It seems Dopps is full of ideas, including this one for all the parties you’ll plan when you aren’t so distracted by your period.

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