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Iowa caucuses results: Who were the eight people who helped Mitt Romney beat Rick Santorum? - Metro US

Iowa caucuses results: Who were the eight people who helped Mitt Romney beat Rick Santorum?

Mitt Romney won a squeaker in Iowa last night, edging out Rick Santorum by eight votes. (That’s roughly the amount of people in the state we’re guessing watched “Work It” last night — zing!)

Who were these eight people? Well, we don’t want to sound like experts, but let’s just say we’ve got a little bit of familiarity with Iowa’s Wikipedia entry. If these eight people were demographically representative of Iowa as a whole, let’s try to imagine who they were, and what might happened to keep them from voting for Rick Santorum:

Gender

Four of these voters would be men. The other four would be women. Rick Santorum would want the latter to only marry the former.

Race

Seven of the voters would be white. The remaining voter would have two Hispanic grandparents, one African American grandparent and one Asian grandparent. Rick Santorum would assure that last voter that he didn’t want to try to make their lives better by giving them the other seven’s money.

Religion

Four of the voters would be Protestant and two would be Catholic. One would worship another religion, and the last would be non-religious. Rick Santorum would say that they were all likely to go to hell anyway, as they had probably had premarital sex.

Who do you think the eight people who kept Rick Santorum from winning Iowa were?

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