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10 Christmas Tree Alternatives for Yuletide Rebels

A list for anyone who sees a blue spruce and thinks, “What’s the use?”
Who needs a big dead balsam fir when you could have a little jolly, thriving cactus? Photo via @umbra232 on Instagram.

Christmas trees, who needs ‘em? Whomever you blame for the arbitrary tradition of propping up dead trees in our homes, like the deranged plant version of “Weekend at Bernie's” — was it the Pagans? Christians? Germans? Vikings? — as adults, there’s really no need to carry on the environmentally destructive pastime. Behold, here are ten Christmas tree alternatives that will get you out of your holiday rut and give you a new reason for the season. 

Christmas cactus 

 

#christmascactus #blooming

A post shared by Rick White (@rgwhite727) on

It’s alive and thrivin' and it even has Christmas in its name. It's perfect. 

Oh cactus, my cactus

So low maintenance.

Happy Stickmas!

 

#christmastreealternative

A post shared by Pamela Snyder-Gallagher (@snallagher) on

The dogs will love this one.

Wall tree 

No room for a tree in your closet of an apartment? Pin some lights and firs onto the wall, and voila! 

Invisible tree

You gotta believe it, to see it.

Booze tree

 

#wine #winebottles #christmastree #christmastreealternative #solocosebelle

A post shared by 🌻ᗰᗩᖇYᗩ Tᕼᕮᖇᕮᔕᗩ🌻 (@_misandrica_) on

The Christmas tree has been drinking. 

Weedmas

Ole St. Willie will love this one. 

Family (photo) tree 

Family is what the holidays are all about, allegedly.

Deadmas

Christmas spirit? I'll show you Christmas spirit. 

Tropic of Noel 

 

🎄🌴🎅 #christmastree #palmtree #alternativechristmastree

A post shared by Beccy Oldis 🌴 (@beckiboobah) on

This is just objectively better.