Besides recounting the latest idiotic exploit of Lindsay Lohan, I sometimes feel like celebrities either separating or divorcing is the only thing I write about it in The Word.

But none of the breakups I've featured on these pages have been as sad as what I'm about to tell you: After more than 30 years of marriage, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are separating.

Yesterday, "Entertainment Tonight" broke the news that the similarly statured couple (he's 5 feet and she's 5 feet 1 inch) had split. And then the unthinkable happened: Devito's rep confirmed their separation to Us Weekly. The two married in 1982 and have three children together.

But fear not! After some intense "investigative reporting" by yours truly (and by "investigative reporting," I mean I stumbled upon a random GeoCities website listing the heights of famous people), there are other actors Perlman and DeVito can date in order to retain the adorable factor of tiny actors in love. My findings:


For Perlman:

Rick Moranis - 5' 1"

David Faustino - 5' 3"

Dudley Moore (RIP) - 5' 3"

Jason Alexander - 5' 5"

For DeVito:

The Olson twins - 5' 1"

Sissy Spacek - 5' 2"

Patricia Arquette - 5' 1"

Kristen Bell - 5' 1"