If a relationship in bed or in the office isn’t giving you what you need, walk on.
Bad sex doesn’t magically happen. Fear of inadequacy, limited skills, distaste for confrontation and passivity are but a few among many identifiable afflictions that could jeopardize your orgasms. It’s worth noting the behaviors that make your genitals frown could also decrease your paycheck. I’m not going to explain why you might suck in bed. Quite the opposite; I want you to have a better sex life. And you deserve more money. Whether you wish to be properly paid or laid, the secret could lie with improving your ability to negotiate for yourself.
And that starts with recognizing your self-worth. Confidence is strongest when based on what we believe to be fact. People who think they are beautiful exude higher self-esteem, regardless of height, thigh width, hair length or other physical traits. Likewise, when you know the value of your contributions to the workplace and can communicate them effectively, it’s easier to ask for a raise. So do it!
Do your research:
Get Laid: DO read credible articles, books, and advice columns. Listen to podcasts, and talk with your doctor. When it comes to sex, more information is better.
Get Paid: DO use an online salary calculator to estimate what peers at similar companies earn. Adjust upward for years of experience, degrees, and company size.
Communicate and listen to needs:
Get Paid: DO remember that salary is only one aspect of compensation. Include flexible hours, more vacation days or other perks in the conversation about your employment needs. Also pay attention to what your employer needs from you.
Get Laid: DON’T expect your lover to read your mind. Be vocal inside and out of the bedroom. Also, pay attention to what your lover is looking for.
Walk away if you need to:
Get Paid: DON’T remain with an employer who is either unable or unwilling to adequately compensate your work. If you have to find a better match and break up with them over it, seriously consider it.
Get Laid: DO Realize you are worth more than your most horrible relationship. Stay solo when necessary because your own company is better than bad company.
—Twanna A. Hines is an award–winning educator and sex columnist. She has contributed to CNN, NPR, Sirius, Lifetime, Mashable, Nerve, Fast Company magazine, CBC (Canadian National Radio), Paris Première (French television) and Al Jazeera. She’s online at FUNKY BROWN CHICK®, and you can follow her on twitter @funkybrownchick.
