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10 questions you've always wanted to ask a dominatrix

Don't be shy. Goddess Aviva Diamond will teach you everything you're yearning to learn about her life as a dominatrix.
dominatrix 10 questions
The term "goddess" is used by femdoms to express "power and superiority," Aviva Diamond explained. Photo: Cantera Image

When you think of sexual domination, what do you imagine? A vinyl-clad dominatrix heartlessly unleashing humiliation on wimps and pencil pushers in a seedy sex dungeon? A red-lipped seductress in stilettos whipping a leather-masked subject or a man-hater unable to function in “polite society?”

Goddess Aviva Diamond, whom we met at the NSFW "playdate" in Brooklyn, practices femdom (female dominance) in her professional and personal life. She takes on clients looking to be submissives and has “slaves” that cater to her after work is over.

We made a list of 10 questions we were dying to ask Goddess Aviva about her place in the world of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism, known as BDSM, and kink.

This is what she had to say:

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Do you have sex with clients?

I do not have sex with clients. Femdom sessions are not about a client seeing a naked woman or getting off. Sessions are about playing with power exchange for a mind-f—k. For most clients this is really hot, so while there is sexual tension, I do not offer nudity or typical sexual activities – no penetration, no oral, no foot or hand jobs, etc. For these men, activities such as crawling on their hands and knees to kiss my feet are arousing.

Do you get off or does it just become work for you?

What I get from sessions is not sexual satisfaction, but the thrill and high from the power exchange — the mental “getting off” of controlling another person and using them for my amusement. Personally, it feels amazing to have a man groveling at my feet and begging for another slap in the face. I only choose clients I have a connection with and will enjoy dominating, so while it is work, I thoroughly enjoy what I do.

You must get this all the time, but is it like “50 Shades of Grey”?

No, it’s immeasurably better. The real thing exceeds the movie in every way.

What kind of clients do you get and does anything about them affect the rate for a session, like attractiveness?

Most of my clients are privileged white men: 6-feet tall, fit, in their 30s, usually working in a high-powered position. These men are used to being in control, getting what they want and having women cater to their desires. It’s exciting for them to experience the polar opposite of their day-to-day.

My rates change depending on the complexity of a session and the effort and energy I put into it. Deciding factors on whether I choose a client are their communication skills, aligned interests, respect and obedience, and openness to submitting and exploring. Attractiveness does not play a role. 

Do you take married clients? And, if so, how do you feel about helping people potentially cheat on their spouses?

Yes, I do take married clients, and I feel great about it. Many of these men live life as an alpha male. They are in charge at work and at home, and they are the dominant ones in their marriage. Imagine if they told their wives they wanted to be forced to wear panties while being humiliated and beaten. It would completely change their relationship and likely cause damage to their personal life. Sometimes it’s best to compartmentalize, and not expect your partner to fulfill all your needs.

What is the “weirdest” request you’ve ever gotten?

Much of the communication occurs before I physically meet someone, so by the time we are actually having a session the boundaries and expectations have already been established, and we are both comfortable and excited about the session. If someone sends me a message requesting something outside of my boundaries, I simply don’t respond. My ideas of what are “normal” are likely very different from the average person. For example, it’s quite common for a client to want to get pissed on, wear women’s lingerie or be treated like a dog. These requests don’t shock me.

One of the strangest session requests I had was from a man wanting to go to a barber shop with me where I would force him to get a buzz cut, get a buzz cut myself, and then go shopping for earrings.

Do you ever turn down potential clients or the requests of your clients?

All the time. I’m very selective of who I session with, and some of the guys contacting me simply don’t have a clue. If you are at all disrespectful or show me that you haven’t read about me before contacting me, I will not respond or simply block you.

You’re dominant in your private life. How do you decide to take a client into your personal life and how is the difference distinguished?

Sometimes a client who is paying for professional sessions will also serve me personally. For example, a client will run a couple errands for me and deliver dinner before we have a session. It can work in reverse as well. Sometimes a personal slave of mine will want to have a professional session to target a specific area of training or discipline. At this point in my development, the lines between my personal and professional life are often blurred, and I’ve become comfortable with defining and redefining the boundaries with a submissive as our dynamic evolves. The great thing about BDSM is that as long as you are practicing SSC (safe, sane and consensual), there are no set rules, and you get to create how it works for you.

Does your job affect your dating life?

As I am kinky, non-monogamous and very open with what I do, I only date people who are open-minded and support my work and personal life. This means I usually date within fetish or poly communities. While traditional dating and relationship roles don’t interest me, I’ve had very loving relationships while working as a dominatrix. I believe it’s possible to have it all.

Does your family know about your job and lifestyle? If so, what do they think?

Most of them do, and I’m blessed that they fully support me. They see that I’m living my truth, enjoying what I do, and making a positive impact on my clients and slaves. I’ve never been happier.

What would you ask Goddess Aviva?

 
 
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