Oh, we're not over fidget spinners yet. Behold Fidgetiddies!

This is the best thing to happen to the nipple, since... well, this is just the best thing to happen to the nipple.
Fidgetiddies
Keep your nipple game on point with the latest (maybe) trend: Fidgetiddies. Photo: caritadepincel/Twitter

Fidget spinners invaded and have basically gone through every stage of life before their ultimate demise and then resurrection 20 years from now (looking at you, 90s hip hop and “Fuller House”).

 

The fidget spinner fad landed and was touted as a stress-reliever for persons with anxiety, OCD or ADHD. They then traveled to the “should we ban them in schools” box, followed quickly by the “oh my God, they catch on fire” category along with Samsung phones and washing machines.

 

Introducing the next phase of the fidget spinning life: “Fidgetiddies,” the fidget spinner for your nipples.

 

Why, you might ask? We parry: Why not

 

Searches for fidget spinner porn on PornHub jumped 282 percent in May, according to Metro UK, especially between 18 and 24-year-olds. Most of the videos were just fidget spinners doing their spinning thang, but some, like “Dank Fidget Spinner on Hot Ass”, are very much NSFW.

GlowFYourself is a shop on Etsy that sells “the internets [sic] favorite butt plugs." Among the choices are mood ring butt plugs, the “covfefe” butt plug and yes, fidget spinner butt plugs. (They even light up!)

Never to be left out, the nipple, eternally searching for freedom has joined the craze.

A woman who goes by the Twitter account @caritadepincel turned fidget spinners into, well, party pasties.

Will they help with anxiety, OCD or ADHD?

Fidgetiddies are the thing you never knew you wanted, and with nearly 9,000 retweets and 22,000 likes, it seems you weren’t alone in your sad fidgetiddies-less life.

Want your own?

You’ll need a set of nipple pasties, Velcro circles or adhesive and two fidget spinners.

Instructions

1. Stick a pre-cut Velcro circle in the center of the pasties and put the other side of the Velcro in the center of each fidget spinner.

2. Velcro the pasties and the spinners together.

3. Put the pasties on your nipples.

4. Spin, spin, spin, baby! Live your best life.

 
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