We agree with Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec: “I’m worried what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was give me all the bacon and eggs you have.” Those vegans are missing out, man. It’s OK, they are “a sad result of a morally corrupt mind.” So never fear meat-eaters! Your bacon dreams will be here soon. McDonald’s is coming to snatch our wigs with Bacon Hour, a glorious sixty minutes where you can get free bacon with or on anything. Here is how to score free bacon at McDonald's.
How to score free bacon at McDonald's
On Tuesday, Jan. 29, you can order bacon on any menu item at McDonald’s completely free of charge. Bacon on your Big Macs, bacon on your McMuffin, Bacon on your Bacon Burger, BACON ON YOUR BACON. McDonald’s will do this promotion in anticipation of adding bacon to their three classics on Jan. 30: the Big Mac, the Quarter Pounder with Cheese and the Cheese Fries. So even if you can’t make it on Tuesday, you can still enjoy some of the bacon-goodness.
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How to maximize your bacon
So it’s one order of bacon, which is two half pieces of Applewood smoked bacon along with your choice of menu options. Do you want to go sweet or savory? How do we maximize our bacon? We have to be smart about this. Strategic even. Let’s go sweet for now. Think: a McFlurry with little bits of salty goodness on top. You could even get fries to do the classic fries-dipped-in-(bacon)-ice-cream trick. Think: a hash brown with bacon on top, dipped in one of those maple syrup packets for the pancakes. Our doctors are screaming, but our hearts will be happy.
Go forth and conquer, my bacon-eating friends.