Have a steamy summer with these tips. Credit: Purestock Have a steamy summer with these tips.
Credit: Purestock

 

Step into the spotlight and take the leading role in your own sex life. This summer, you could learn a lot from kinky people.Tohelp partners discover and communicate their desires, sex educators, sex therapists, and couple counselors borroweda tool from sexualkinksters — theYes, No, Maybe list.Use it to take inventory of and gauge your lover’s level of interest in new sexual activities.

 

Here are three easy steps to get started with your first Yes, No, Maybe list.

 

Step 1: Brainstorm Activities


Handcuffs, spanking, dirty talk, face slapping, pinching, and hair pulling are just a few items that could be up for your consideration. Together with your partner, whip up a list of every sexual activity you can possibly imagine — whether or not it piques your interest. Hold off on judgments. That’s the next step!

Step 2: Judge The Hell Out Your List


Be opinionated. Come to conclusions about what you do or do not want done to your body. Make a copy of the sexy listing so you each have one. To finish filling it out alone, next to each activity, write“Yes”if you would like to perform the activity on your lover or have them perform it on you. Mark “Maybe”if you are unsure. Pick“No”if you are not interested. Your list should reflect your interests without your partner’s influence.

Step 3: Make Sex Exciting Again


Once you have finished filling it out, swap sheets with your partner and go through everything together. Use this conversation starter to negotiate your way to new pleasures. You can always revisit your answers by completing a new checklist at a later date.

Uncertain about what to put down on your checklist? Here are some of Funky Brown Chick's suggestions (please note that some of these suggestions are NSFW):

 

FunkyBrownChick_LoveChecklist

 

Twanna A. Hines is an award­-winning educator and sex columnist. Follow her on Twitter @funkybrownchick.