Remember when you found out that Santa Claus didn’t exist and your childhood happiness was shattered by the fact that something so magical could just be a cruel illusion? Well, if you don’t want to experience that same feeling stop reading immediately, because The News of the World is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have signed legal documents dividing their vast fortune ($300 million!) and family (six kids!).

 

Responding to the Internet speculation yesterday, their publicist told Perez Hilton they are not breaking up. The couple has dodged rumors of their demise as of late, including one tale that Jolie got especially tongue-y with a language coach she was using for a new film.

 

At The Word we’re going to blame this split — real or fake — on Pitt’s beard. That thing should be a viable, legal reason to leave your husband. We haven’t seen a beard that bad since Liza Minnelli married David Gest.