avocado bathing suit
Despite hating it, the avocado bathing suit is making me legit hungry. Photo: Beloved Shirts

If you’re thinking about picking up a quirky one-piece avocado bathing suit, please don’t.

The designers of the hairy-chested one-piece bathing suit, the Trump bathing suit and the pizza bikini, BelovedShirts, is now selling the avocado swimsuit for $49.95.

You can get your suit in classic or high-leg styles up to sizes 2XL. And Pinterest recently announced that the one-piece bathing suit is the most searched for style of the summer, in addition to other retro looks.


I’m not a fashion editor (believe me, I am well-aware of the outfits I sport), but at first look, seeing the avocado bathing suit was like discovering a gruesome crime scene.

I love me some guacamole and I’ll easily take a slice of green saturated fat over the sloppopotomus-making creamy white mayo (blech), but this is taking it a bit too far.

Apparently, there are others who also don't care for this very realistic looking fruit print, but I'm in a very quiet minority.

Jamie Feldman, the lifestyle and fashion editor over at Huffington Post called the “appetizing” swimwear “amazing.”

“Is it painfully trendy? Yes,” Feldman wrote about the hipster-focused item. “Is it also the only avocado that won’t brown mere hours after you open it? Probably.”

Avery Matera at Self said the bathing suit “is here to help you live your best life.”

To me, clearly the creators of this bathing suit were thinking, “What nonsense can we get Millennials to spend their money on now?” I imagine people in a boardroom making fun of brunches and avocado toast and bam! The avocado bathing suit was born.

Speaking of born, that pit looks like an alien baby and if you’re doing all kind of tummy crunches to feel good in a suit (not that you need to), maybe don’t make your midsection look like a protruding object is being forced from your abdomen. Unless you’re pregnant, and then, well, that would be cute. I could totally get behind that.

I don’t know how the concept came to fruition (see what I did there?), but 35-year-old Australian millionaire Tim Gurner blames avocados for the future financial ruin of generations to come.

“When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each,” he said in an interview with “60 Minutes Australia." “We’re at a point now where the expectations of younger people are very, very high.”

After his unsolicited avocado-bashing advice, Gurner was ripped to shreds on Twitter by avocado-eating homeowners, so maybe it’s like ticking off the Beyhive… don’t mess with the avocado. It’s just not safe.

But I’m not taking it back.

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