Forget unbuttoning, unzipping... Behold, elastic Thanksgiving dinner pants!
“Family and friends will be envious of your level of comfort at the Thanksgiving table,” according to Stove Top.
Wearing sweatpants to Thanksgiving might be frowned upon in some houses, but when you’re packing in a once-a-year holiday feast into your pie hole, you’re gonna need some stretchy pants. Stove Top stuffing has the answer: Thanksgiving dinner pants.
You could burp, unbutton, unzip, lounge... or, you could chill on Thanksgiving being your (questionably) fashionable self.
Stove Top’s Thanksgiving dinner pants are loose-fitting maroon pants with a thick elastic waistband printed with a photo of Stove Top Stuffing “and complimented [sic] by XXL stuffing print pockets.”
What would I stuff my pockets with? That’s just too easy. Napoleon Dynamite might have had his tater tots, but this lady has her stuffing. Stuffing is my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner and I unabashedly will house some Stove Top. Sorry, grandma.
Embarrassing? Ha! Yoga pants are a big hit with my friends and that’s just for ladies’ night in. Hey, that wine has to go somewhere. Also, my friend is Greek and makes a mean pastitsio and I would totally rock a pair of spanakopita stretchy pants, so I say “huzzah” to Stove Top.
The Kraft Heinz Company agrees. “Family and friends will be envious of your level of comfort at the Thanksgiving table,” according to the company selling the pants.
The narrator in the infomercial-ish video for the pants, which went on sale on Monday for $19.98 and sold out nearly as fast, described the pants and their endless possibilities.
“Based on the same technology used in astronauts’ underpants, they can expand to nearly two times their original size,” according to the video.
OK, maybe not “endless” but ASTRONAUTS, you guys!
Making that holiday dough, yes, but — in the spirit of Thanksgiving — Stove Top announced it will donate $10,000 to Feeding America. So, you owe it to your nation to wear these "designed in the USA" pants, patriot.
One Twitter user summed it up aptly, “This is either the greatest thing ever made or the saddest.”
If my family thinks I’m not wearing this to Thanksgiving dinner...They’re wrong. 👖🦃https://t.co/KJXmbtS3HG— Markie Martin (@KOCOmarkie) November 14, 2017
@AngieDavisHaha and I must be soulmates because we live the same life.
“The Stove Top Stuffing pants pretty well sum up my whole life,” the tweeter posted. “Get fatter. Wear ridiculous shit.”
The Stove Top Stuffing pants pretty well sum up my whole life.— Angie Davis ❤️’s peen (@AngieDavisHaha) November 14, 2017
Wear ridiculous shit. pic.twitter.com/z4f1ERlv4S
You could buy maternity pants, but if you’re going to spend some money, make it rain seasoned bread cubes, baller.
Metro has reached out to the company to see if there will be a new batch of Thanksgiving dinner pants whipped up in time for a second helping. We will keep you updated.
Update: It is with heavy hearts we report that a spokesperson for the fancy elastic pants told us, "There won’t be any additional for purchase, unfortunately!"