Last season on “The Voice,” Cee Lo‘s sidekick, Purrfect the evil-faced cat, was quite the hit, lending the judge a funky Dr. Evil-meets-Lewis Carroll swagger.

But animal rights activists aren’t so psyched for his new on-air companion, a Moluccan cockatoo named Lady.

“Moluccan cockatoos are beautiful, intelligent animals but they are very challenging to care for especially in the long term, and are prone to considerable welfare problems,” Monica Engrebretson of advocacy organization Born Free tells TMZ, citing concerns that ill-prepared fans will buy the notoriously difficult pets. “Many Moluccan cockatoos develop self-destructive behavior including feather plucking and self mutilation not known to occur in the wild.”

Poor Lady! Reality TV is the most oppressive of captivities, and is known cause feather-plucking among even marginally intelligent newspaper editors. Cee Lo, if you want a colorful companion that speaks in near gibberish, we suggest an intern.

Amber Heard is living our dream

Rumors that the recently single Johnny Depp is involved with actress Amber Heard are heating up now that he bought her a horse. Depp, who is shooting “The Lone Ranger” in New Mexico, was looking for some company to ride the trails with between takes, reports E! News.

To recap: This girl looks like Barbie, and now Edward Scissorhands bought her a pony. So help me Peter Venkman if she lands a role in the new “Ghostbusters” movie.

Octomon flying low

We haven’t been keeping you updated on Nadya “Octomon” Suleman‘s adventures in stripping and porn because, apparently, even we have limits and an inkling desire for truth and beauty.

But we did tune back in when we heard about Suleman’s trouble on a recent flight to New York. Her manager tells TMZ that the Virgin America crew harassed them, ordering them to change seats, denying them beverages, prohibiting them from using the bathroom and then laughing at them.

Oh ladies, welcome to coach, where we are all despised equally and enthusiastically. Come meet your neighbors over warm Diet Coke and regret.