Katy Perry and Russell Brand
Announcement: Dec. 30 (So this was technically in 2011, but the fallout was in 2012; work with me here, folks.)
Length of marriage: 14 months
Reason: “She’s young, successful and dedicated,” Brand explained of Perry’s career to Howard Stern in July. “[The reality is] you can’t fully understand it until you do it. I was really into the idea of marriage and having children.” Translation: The recovering alcoholic wanted to settle down; she wanted to party.
Contention level: Low. Instead of anger, Perry just seems embarrassed she was ever associated with him. She recently hid under a table to avoid seeing him while she was having lunch with new beau John Mayer.
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett
Announcement: Sept. 6
Length of marriage: 9 years
Reason: Their romance “fizzled out,” RadarOnline.com reported.
Contention level: Low. They are too adorable to be mad at one another.
Tina Simpson and Joe Simpson
Announcement: They filed on Sept. 24; TMZ broke the news on Oct. 24.
Length of marriage: 34 years
Reason: Well, the divorce papers say, “The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities.” But the National Enquirer says it’s because Simpson, a former youth minister, is gay — and even has a boyfriend. Whoa.
Contention level: Awkward. If you were Tina Simpson, wouldn’t you feel funny inside?
Heidi Klum and Seal
Announcement:
Length of marriage: 7 years
Reason: Klum was apparently disturbed about Seal’s “inability to control his temper.”
Contention level: High. The two are currently involved in a very bitter custody dispute over their four children and Klum’s estimated $70 million fortune.
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise
Announcement: June 29
Length of marriage: 5 years
Reason: Cruise was apparently blindsided by Holmes’ highly orchestrated divorce proceedings. One reason for the split? Us Weekly reported that the couple “fought viciously” over Scientology parenting.
Contention level: Medium. The divorce was fast and furious. Cruise seems sad; Holmes ecstatic. And Suri is still well-dressed.
