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The Word: Celebrity divorces of 2012

Yesterday we looked at celeb engagements. Today we review 2012’s divorces.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand

Announcement: Dec. 30 (So this was technically in 2011, but the fallout was in 2012; work with me here, folks.)

Length of marriage: 14 months

Reason: “She’s young, successful and dedicated,” Brand explained of Perry’s career to Howard Stern in July. “[The reality is] you can’t fully understand it until you do it. I was really into the idea of marriage and having children.” Translation: The recovering alcoholic wanted to settle down; she wanted to party.

Contention level: Low. Instead of anger, Perry just seems embarrassed she was ever associated with him. She recently hid under a table to avoid seeing him while she was having lunch with new beau John Mayer.

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett

Announcement: Sept. 6

Length of marriage: 9 years

Reason: Their romance “fizzled out,” RadarOnline.com reported.

Contention level: Low. They are too adorable to be mad at one another.

Tina Simpson and Joe Simpson

Announcement: They filed on Sept. 24; TMZ broke the news on Oct. 24.

Length of marriage: 34 years

Reason: Well, the divorce papers say, “The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities.” But the National Enquirer says it’s because Simpson, a former youth minister, is gay — and even has a boyfriend. Whoa.

Contention level: Awkward. If you were Tina Simpson, wouldn’t you feel funny inside?

Heidi Klum and Seal

Jan. 23

Length of marriage: 7 years

Reason: Klum was apparently disturbed about Seal’s “inability to control his temper.”

Contention level: High. The two are currently involved in a very bitter custody dispute over their four children and Klum’s estimated $70 million fortune.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise

Announcement: June 29

Length of marriage: 5 years

Reason: Cruise was apparently blindsided by Holmes’ highly orchestrated divorce proceedings. One reason for the split? Us Weekly reported that the couple “fought viciously” over Scientology parenting.

Contention level: Medium. The divorce was fast and furious. Cruise seems sad; Holmes ecstatic. And Suri is still well-dressed.

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