For the first time in recent history, Lindsay Lohan is not on probation, in jail or falling out of a car. At a hearing Thursday afternoon, Judge Stephanie Sautner -- who has, historically, not been a fan of Lohan or her courtroom circus -- ended the actress' formal probation after agreeing that her community service was successfully completed.
In return, Lohan is required to obey all laws -- even the annoying ones that we nonfamous people abide by -- for two and a half years. "I know it's kind of hard when people are following you all over the place, but that's the life you chose," said Sautner. "I'm not going to give a lecture, because you know what you need to do. You need to live your life in a more mature way. Stop the nightclubbing and focus on your work."
Or focus on a Magic Eye -- anything should do at this point, Linds. We're proud of you, and we're canceling your standing Monday gossip reservation.
- PHOTOS: Celebrities attend 'Avengers: Endgame' premiere in Los Angeles29 Pictures
- PHOTOS: This Pakistani waiter looks just like Peter Dinklage8 Pictures
Where's Lohan to next?
Canada, it seems. Her upcoming Elizabeth Taylor movie is shooting in Toronto, and she's been granted a Canadian work permit, reports TMZ.
Thanks, Canada! Now, we don't suppose we could interest you in some Kardashians, could we?
It's official: Ron Burgundy lives
Just when every bro in your life finally stopped quoting "Anchorman," Will Ferrell -- in character as Ron Burgundy, no less -- stopped by Conan on Wednesday night to announce the sequel.
"I want to announce this to everyone here in the Americas," he told the audience. "To my friends, in Spain, Turkey and the U.K., including England -- as of 0900 Mountain Time, Paramount Pictures and myself, Ronald Joseph Aaron Burgundy, have come to terms on a sequel for 'Anchorman.'"
If we must: Someone pass the scotchy scotch scotch.