He was on home turf and brought his mom as a date, but even still, Russell Brand couldn’t catch a break at the London premiere of “Rock of Ages.” While the comedian walked the red carpet for his new film, fans yelled that he looked like “Jesus” and a “homeless person.”

Brand — like most people confined to skin-tight jeans and ornamental cowboy boots — didn’t risk getting in a fight, instead taking it as a compliment.

“I’d like to play Jesus, and wasn’t he homeless for a while too?” he answered, according to U.K. newspaper The Mirror.

He also admitted that his role as a rocker with a wild streak wasn’t that much of a stretch.

“When I was lying on the toilet floor I thought, ‘Hello, here we are again on my own,'” says Brand, who struggled publicly with drugs and alcohol before sobering up.

Tom Cruise on rocking out

While Brand essentially plays some version of himself in “Rock of Ages,” professional pretty boy Tom Cruise spent a little more time in the makeup chair getting into character, and it freaked out daughter Suri.

“When I had the eyeliner and the painted nails, [Suri] was a little taken aback by it,” the actor told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show yesterday morning. “She was like, ‘What’s happening to my dad?'”

Poor kid! This image is right up there with drunk, homeless Jesus.

Kris Humphries meets his match

Kris Humphries is meeting with the FBI this week to discuss texts and e-mails from his not-girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj, reports RadarOnline. The former Mr. Kardashian believes Sinanaj is attempting to extort him after a casual relationship ended.

“Myla is truly acting like woman scorned. She didn’t get what she wanted from Kris and threatened to go to the press and ruin him if he didn’t pay her off,” a source tells the site. “Kris had to go to the FBI because he truly believes that she is capable of making up crazy lies about him. Kris will fully cooperate with the FBI and do anything that is asked of him.”

Wait — this girl wants money and publicity from him after a short, questionable relationship? Kris, this might be as close to a soulmate as you’re going to get.

Lindsay Lohan may face lawsuit for crash

Not surprisingly, the truck driver involved in a car crash with Lindsay Lohan over the weekend has hired a lawyer. According to TMZ, he claims he saw a doctor on Sunday but would not disclose the injuries he suffered after the actress slammed into the back of his 18-wheeler.

We get that it’s not easy to give Lindsay a break (especially on a slow news day), but come on — her pocket-size Porsche is in the same league as a chubby rollerblader.