Arnold Schwarzenegger's new memoir, "Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story" is 640 pages of straight-up boasting by the former bodybuilder-turned-movie star-turned-governor-turned-women groper. Oh, his ego. It truly is unbelievable! The Word compiled the best brags from the book:



When he first started dating Maria:


"The outside world looked at our relationship in a simpleminded way, as a juicy success story. 'Isn't it amazing that he wins Mr. Olympia and all these bodybuilding championships and then he gets this big movie contract and then gets a Kennedy as his girlfriend?'"



When he first met his future mother-in-law, Eunice Kennedy:


"The first words I blurted out were, 'Your daughter has a great ass.' I always loved to say outrageous things to people."

 

On his rehearsal dinner:

"The toasts on Maria's side were about her and how great she is and how I'd benefit from being her husband. From my side it was the opposite: what a great guy and perfect human being I am, and how she'd benefit from that."



On justifying cheating on Maria before they were hitched:


"The fling with Brigitte Nielsen underlined what I already knew: I wanted Maria to be my wife."



His take on acting:


"Compared to being an action hero, it was a lot easier to be a comic star."



Amazing Arnold quotes taken out of context:


"Doing battle with a giant mechanical snake left me sore for a week."

 

"Jewish people have played such keys roles in my life."

 

"There was something comical about seeing two black people accusing each other of being black. We laughed about it later."