On Sept. 12, Beanie Sigel is due to report to prison for a two-year stay for tax evasion. Even though the Philly rapper pleaded guilty to failing to pay around $350,000 on unreported income, he’s not going quietly.
In fact, Sigel has a perfectly good explanation for not filing between 2003-2005: “The years that they charged me for failure to file taxes is years that I was incarcerated,” he tells MTV of his previous stint for weapons and drug charges. “When you’re incarcerated in a federal facility, you’re not allowed to conduct any business at all.”
That’s a little like being late for work because your bartender was moving slow. But sure — we’ve been there. The thing is, Sigel doesn’t really intend to pay up no matter where he’s living. “You shouldn’t be able to tax income,” he says. “If I fix your roof and you wanna pay me in 20 pounds of bananas, do you think Uncle Sam wants 45 percent of my bananas? But because you’re paying me $400,000 in currency he wants a part of that.”
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Beanie, whenever you make it out of prison, we fear you and your nonlogic have a career in politics.
Make this stop
As we mentioned on Thursday, Avril Lavigne is engaged to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger. But not just any old engaged — engaged with a gigantic ring.
“We helped Chad custom create Avril’s dream ring: a platinum-set pear-shape diamond with half moons totaling 14 carats,” designer Caryn Alpert tells People magazine, before having the nerve to add: “What a perfect pair/pear!”
That’s right —Nickelback has sold enough albums to fund a 14-carat ring. Now, more than ever, we’re disappointed in all of you.
Get this girl some ice chips
The spawn of Snooki is due to arrive in just three short weeks. One thing the reality star is not doing to prepare? Lamaze classes.
“Lamaze is bulls—,” she tells In Touch, setting off Gwyneth Paltrow’s yuppie eye twitch. “They teach you how to breathe. Are you really going to be worrying about how to breathe when you’re having a baby? No! You’re going to be screaming and throwing s—.”
Follow Monica Weymouth on Twitter @MonicaatMetro.