Men's lifestyle magazine Complex has released a list entitled "The 25 Douchiest Bars in Philadelphia."
Surprising no one, the number one pick is notorious bro hangout McFadden's at 3rd and Spring Garden streets, where every night is a continuation of the worst frat party you ever went to in college, except the drinks aren't free.
"When you open a bar named McFadden's, you cultivate douchiness like moist cultures in a Petri dish," Complex's description reads, noting that McFadden's locations in Chicago and New York also made those cities' respective lists. "But please believe that this must be the douchiest of them all. ... Be sure to check out the weekly beer pong tournaments if you want to wring out your soul."
Rounding out the top five? Center City's Rumor, with its "heinous colored fluorescent light scheme," Mad River in Manayunk, "that neighborhood where recently-graduated, upwardly-mobile college folks can be isolated from the grittiness of city life," Kildare's, also in Manayunk – "imagine a coffin half-full of a gently warmed beer and vomit" – and remnant of the once-trendy strip on Delaware Avenue Bamboo Bar, "where even regular folks leave looking like they religiously trim their sideburns."
Lest ye think Complex's list is limited to fake Irish pubs and bass-bumping Jersey Shore-style megaclubs, Fishtown's The Barbary – dubbed "the pinnacle of hipster douchery in Philadelphia" – makes an appearance at number nine and "self-parody" NoLibs ironic burger shack PYT is number 15.
Though it hasn't even been open for three months, sports bar behemoth X-Finity Live! at the stadium complex caps off the rankings.