Seemingly inspired by last week’s viral web hit, “Fight On Subway Over Spaghetti,” some MTA board members want to ban commuters from eating food on the subway. (“They’re the cause of rats, they’re the cause of fires,” the Daily News quotes committee member Charles Moerdler saying.)
Though the ban will probably not go through— NYC Transit committee chairwoman Doreen Frasca said that though it was a “swell idea,” she has no plans to implement such a proposal — the debate got us thinking. If we could get the MTA instead to ban specific foods, which food would it be?
»Ice cream: No-brainer! Ice cream melts, and gets all over your hands, and then you’re getting sticky chocolate hand-prints all over the poles. No thanks!
»Durian: If you’ve ever met this Asian fruit, you know it smells like a mix of moldy cheese and rotten onions.
»Soup: OK, first: What happens if the train stops very suddenly, as trains are known to do? WHOOSH, there goes your soup, all over the tired commuter next to you. And even if the whole soup-into-mouth thing goes absolutely perfectly, you’re still going to be making some annoying sound as you suck in the broth like a hungry child. Slurp. Sluuurp.
»Toast: It is statistically impossible to eat toast without spraying crumbs on everything within a three-foot radius.
»Anything from Subway: It’s way too early in the morning for that kind of wordplay, bro.
»Scallions/scallops: Because we always get them confused!
»Birthday cake: Never give a crazy person an ice-breaker.
»Steak: Where do you think you are, the Metro North?
»Lobster: Only babies should wear bibs on the subway.
And if you suspected this article was just a hamfisted way to post the fight video from last week, you’re possibly right!
