Kim Schneiderman

On the Couch: Are you hiding your inner rock star?

Although I indulge in watching viral videos, I rarely play them more than once. But I can’t seem to stop watching Adele fooling a bunch of her own impersonators by pretending to be one of them. There is something Shakespearean in the way she dons a prosthetic nose and chin, feigns a bad case of...

Tuesday, December 8, 2015 - 4:00pm

On the Couch: Don't let a panic attack develop into anxiety

I still remember coming face-to-face with a problem that sends clients to my office every day.While driving down Interstate 95 a few years ago in Florida, I became increasingly anxious. When a lane suddenly ended and I had to merge, I began to feel light-headed and sweaty. My chest began to...

Tuesday, November 24, 2015 - 4:30pm

A more fulfilling life has nothing to do with winning or failing

When I was young, one of my favorite books was Sugarcane Island,which was the first “choose your own adventure” type of interactive book.The premise was fairly simple: You had been shipwrecked on a deserted island. The goal was survival and finding your way home. At the end of each chapter was a...

Monday, November 9, 2015 - 10:32pm

On the Couch: 'Swim' your way to freedom from fear

Ghouls and ghosts come around to scare us once a year on Halloween. But some people live with imagined fears and anxieties that haunt them year-round.For them, the possibility of failure or rejection is so scary that they would rather play it safe — even if it means enduring the suffering that is...

Monday, October 26, 2015 - 2:30pm

On the Couch: A step-by-step brain workout that will get you motivated

Lately, I’ve been contemplating what it takes to overcome inertia. Maybe it’s because the lazy days of summer are over, or my mind being more attuned to the transformational themes of the Jewish new year.Regardless, I’ve noticed that many clients, loved ones, and even yours truly, are doing the...

Monday, September 21, 2015 - 12:30pm

On the Couch: Those brave enough for a hero’s journey never walk alone

I came across the concept of the hero’s journey when I needed it most — while struggling with my father’s death. Among his shelves of books was “The Hero With a Thousand Faces” by the famous cultural anthropologist Joseph Campbell. It describes a story that has been told in every culture since...

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 - 10:39am

'Inside Out' teaches us to question our emotions' motives

As a therapist, I often feel like a tour guide for my patients. Using various “maps” and my knowledge from years of traversing the emotional terrain, I help them navigate the territory of the mind and make sense of what they discover. Pixar’s “Inside Out” took that journey one step further,...

Monday, July 27, 2015 - 9:53pm

Flip the script: Are you miscast in your own life?

This column is the third in aseries about changing your life by looking at it as a story. Learn more about this technique in Kim Schneiderman’s new book, “Step Out of Your Story,”available now.In the movie “Stranger Than Fiction,” Harold Crick is a robotic IRS agent who begins to question his...

Tuesday, July 14, 2015 - 6:00am

How to live like the stories you love

We’re all the stars of our own story, but that’s not the only role we play.Every life is an unfolding story: dynamic, unique, purposeful and potentially heroic. But it’s also open to interpretation, especially our own. From the day we’re born, we become the spin doctor of our own work in progress,...

Tuesday, June 30, 2015 - 3:30pm

Turn your life into a hero's journey

This column is the first in aseries about changing your life by looking at it as a story. Learn more about this technique in Kim Schneiderman’s new book,“Step Out of Your Story,”available now.Does the same type of character keep showing up in your life and pushing your buttons? These people may...

Monday, June 1, 2015 - 1:56pm

What to say when you're not okay

Question: This spring, I will be getting divorced. Because everyone is in such good spirits, I feel like I have to pretend that I’m OK, but I’m devastated. When people ask how I am, I never know how much to share.When you’re in crisis, a simple “How are you?” can feel like the prelude to a hug or a...

Tuesday, May 19, 2015 - 3:27pm

How to cope with the most important people in your life

Every spring, many of my young adult psychotherapy clients go home to reconnect with their families over the Passover or Easter holidays, and return with more or less the same question: “How to do I maintain my peace of mind and self-respect and still remain connected to my family (who either don’t...

Tuesday, April 14, 2015 - 5:24am

Know the 5 signs of a mental health crisis

Once again, mental health was thrust into the spotlight last week when a suicidal German pilot crashed a passenger jet into the French Alps. In the aftermath, horrified colleagues wondered at the pilot’s ability to conceal his emotional turmoil. But his close friends reported that he had been...

Tuesday, March 31, 2015 - 3:14pm

Turn your envy into motivation with this visualization exercise

The problem: Every time I go on Facebook or Instagram, it seems like someone my age (32) is getting married, having a baby or enjoying a tropical vacation I can’t afford, and it’s making me really depressed.Sounds like you’re suffering from an acute case of “not measuring up.” While not an official...

Monday, February 23, 2015 - 2:54pm

How to use kindness, not guilt, to reach your goals

An ambitious, go-getter client of mine often berates herself when she doesn’t achieve all her goals for the week, even when she encounterssetbacks beyond hercontrol. Although I counsel her to be kind to herself, she worries that cutting herself slack is just an excuse for not doing enough. It’s an...

Monday, January 12, 2015 - 4:31pm

Gossip makes victims of everyone involved

Question: A friend recently criticized me for being a gossip. And while it’s kinda true, is it really so bad? How can I hurt someone else if they don’t know what I’m saying? And doesn’t everybody do it? Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small...

Monday, November 24, 2014 - 3:52pm

10 ways to help a mentally ill loved one – and keep your sanity

After my last column, “Invisible battle: Mental illness remains undertreated,” I received several emails from distressed readers inquiring about how to help a loved one experiencing severe and overwhelming mental and emotional challenges. One reader was worried about his seemingly depressed wife of...

Monday, November 3, 2014 - 2:09pm