What is it with men and gifts? How can a man who has written poetry for his lover, feted her with engraved trinkets suddenly show up with kitchen gadgets?
A blip on the radar, but mention this to other women and immediately the taps start flowing.
“At least you got something,” moans one. “My last birthday my husband gave me nothing. Nothing.”
Another woman’s husband arrived home from work one birthday and announced, “Your present’s in the trunk if you want to go out and get it.”
Not all stories are bad. One friend’s husband gave her a lamp crafted from a piece of driftwood he had found on a beach they had visited. A little weird, but thoughtful.
Another male friend tells me his wife wanted to learn saxophone, so he bought her one. The next year she received sheet music to go with it. “The key,” he says, “is listening. Sometimes I store it in my memory, other times my BlackBerry.”
Ah yes — listening — an excellent way to figure out your gal. Alana Gun, who runs a gift basket franchise in Winnipeg, says, “Men have no ideas. If they do, it’s to put flowers in a gift basket. You cannot cover flowers in cello wrap.” (Speaking of flowers, what is it with men and carnations?)
What also is it that makes a dude think he can use the Hallmark conspiracy theory to calm a disappointed woman. (I should be able to give you something any day I want). When I was married, I simply told my husband where to pick up my gift — behind the counter of the store where it was being saved. Kind of took the surprise out of it, but that wasn’t a bad thing.
Good gifts may not necessarily mean a great guy, but bad or no gifts start to grate on a woman. It signifies he doesn’t care enough to listen.
Some guys just have it. When my son was six, he took my pink Post-it notes, drew an arrow on each one, placing them all the way up the stairs and into my room. On my pillow was a note reading, “I love you.”
Guys, I can’t tell you what to give because every woman is different. Try to remember past conversations for clues, even a word. Stressed=spa; sexy=lingerie; very stressed out=trip. (By the way, sex is not a present for women, only for men.)
For most women, it’s not the thought that counts, but that there’s been any thought at all that really matters.