Cable TV subscriptions are plummeting further every month, while Netflix Instant just keeps getting stronger. This isn’t because Instant necessarily has superior content, mind you: It’s just much, much cheaper, and humanity has apparently gotten OK with settling for whatever’s immediately in front of them rather than getting what they most desire. You wanted to watch “Casablanca”? Instead you’re watching “Crocodile Dundee 2.”
Soon, however, you can add “Coneheads” to the list of movies you might find yourself watching after you’ve given up on self-respect and life in general. The 1993 “SNL” movie, which no one liked even then but has been temporarily licensed to Netflix in what was presumably a package deal, is one of April’s new titles. It was actually given a splashy place on its press release, as though anyone but Dan Aykroyd’s extended family had any interest in watching it.
For what it’s worth, there are others of higher repute. Epics like “Braveheart,” “The English Patient,” “Titanic” and “Amistad” will soon be viewable on your giant TV, as will “Chinatown,” “Mean Girls” and all six “Rocky” films. (Though you really only need half of those. OK, maybe four.) Then again, so will “Jumanji,” “Scary Movie 3” and “G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” the latter of which admittedly has one scene worth skipping to: the so-called “Ninja Mountain escapade.”
But as usual, the big draw is TV shows and binge watching. (Because apparently some of you have 20-hour chunks of spare time. Who are you people?) “Mad Men”’s sixth season just went up, giving you two weeks to cram before the final run launches. “House M.D.” will be available in toto, plus the third season of “Bob’s Burgers,” which offers inventive loopiness as well as killer burger recipes. Did you watch “Son of God” after seeing “The Bible” miniseries, only to find you paid to rewatch something you already saw? Then you can do it all over again, as the History Channel hit will be invading streaming.
You can also watch Woody Allen’s “Scoop.” Everyone loves Woody Allen now, right?
Follow Matt Prigge on Twitter @mattprigge